Ten Things We'd Like to See in New Chapters of R. Kelly's Trapped in the Closet

Thirty-three chapters of the epic "hip hopera" Trapped in the Closet are evidently not enough. The song that never ends, written and performed by R. Kelly, where he sings every character's dialogue and action in E major, endures with new chapters coming in 2014, according to IFC.

To celebrate, the cable network showed all 33 chapters last Saturday. Rewatching it in its entirety, I have absolute faith that R. Kelly will continue on the divine path of awesomeness and awfulness that has made Trapped in the Closet such a masterpiece. Just in case Kells forgot what made Trapped such a classic, here is a checklist of ten things we would like to see in the new chapters.

See also: R. Kelly's Trapped in the Closet Goes to Broadway

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David Rolland is a freelance writer for New Times Broward-Palm Beach and Miami New Times. His novel, The End of the Century, published by Jitney Books, is available at many fine booksellers.
Contact: David Rolland