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The 2014 Grammys Were Actually Good

Guaranteed, there's a Grammy-hater contingent out there picking their tight asses and snorting away about how lame the award show was last night. But we watched, and the 2014 Grammys were actually freaking good. And dude, would we lie about how entertaining something is? No way. We're usually snorting away with the best of them.

What follows are a ton of great (thank you very much) reasons why the show was actually well thought-out and finely executed.

"One" by Metallica

Are you fucking kidding?! This song haunted and ruled my childhood. I even read Johnny Got His Gun because of this totally hypnotic and meandering tune. (If you haven't read the book, you should be downloading or buying it now -- preferably from your local independent bookseller. My brother calls it the best anti-war book ever, and he ain't wrong.)

"One" is an incredibly dark and weird song, and to watch it performed -- even with Lang Lang wylin' out on the piano -- in front of a pop crowd is a fantastic thing. I want everyone to feel what I do when hearing it.

Stevie Wonder and Daft Punk

My mom called me once last night about Macklemore and how emo she was about the folks getting married (keep reading) and again because she was like: "Who are these men in helmets winning everything?"

Though I didn't get to explain the wonderment of "One" to them, I did get to tell my elders about Discovery, an album that came out when I was in college and which is still one of the best of all time. Teaching the older generation about really good music? That alone made the Grammys special this year.

Also, Stevie Wonder was the best artist they could have collaborated with on this song. No one compares to Stevie though. Period. So anyone collaborating with Stevie wins out.

Gays getting married on TV?! 2014, you're cool.

First, we (i.e. the internet) were barfing in our mouths about Macklemore winning all these hip-hop awards. But then we (the internet) saw that he told Kendrick Lamar in a text that he felt he'd been robbed, and we thought: Good form, brah. Also, it was very touching when during his performance with Madonna and Queen Latifah a bunch of straight and gay couples married on live TV. That's great human TV.

Willie Nelson ANYTHING

We promise we won't let our sons grow up to be cowboys. Just keep bringing Merle Haggard to the stage. You're the frickin' best, Willie. The frickin' best.

Pink is rad. The end.

If I've ever said anything bad about Pink. I take it back. She's the fiercest pop chick around. She's got a mean voice and does stuff these other pop singers cannot do, like perform "extreme" aerial acrobatics over the crowd and still belt it out IRL when she hit the ground.

Pharrell's hat.

It was so huge, it even got its own Twitter account.

LL Cool J still licking his lips after all these years.

LL is so awesome. If you have something crappy to say about him, you're so straight-hating that it's embarrassing.

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