Ultra Music Festival

The United Nations of Ultra


The United Nations could learn a thing or two from Ultra. Imagine how much more effective Ban Ki-moon would be in bright pink booty shorts that said Slut across the butt.

Hold up, Iran, before we drop these sanctions on your ass, allow me to drop the beat.

The people of Ultra would probably be more effective than the United Nations anyway. Picture it: Pointless policy debates would be resolved in the duration of a single song. War would become a thing of the past. Instead, countries would gather in massive, mile-wide circles to hash it out via dance off. And can you imagine how sick the remixes of each county's national anthem would be? Our ears tingle at thinking what Deadmau5 would do to "O Canada."

Let's see which countries came to represent at the United Nations of Ultra as we now take attendance of this coalition of the thrilling. 
The Islamic Republic of Pakistan
Pakistan’s party soldiers were patrolling the grounds, in search of the next best dance floor. 
The Republic of South Korea
The people of this East Asian peninsular nation made some Ultra-appropriate modifications to their flag. Next order of business: air-dropping some PLUR over Kim Jong-un's palace.
  The Kingdom of Belgium
The Belgians were here. And they brought their hairy little friend.
The French Republic
Les français certainly made things a little less misérable and a little more merveilleux. Vive la France!
The Commonwealth of Puerto Rico
Los puertorriqueños are a great addition to the United Nations of Ultra, because our UNU luncheons could really use some arroz con gandules.
The Republic of Nicaragua
The Nicas were reppin' loud and proud. But if you look at the right corner of the photo, you can see the delegate from the Cayman Islands throwing some serious shade Nicaragua's way.

No fighting, Cayman Islands! Don't make us take away your kandi credentials. 
People's Democratic Republic of Algeria
The raver nation of Algeria was all-here-ia.
The Swiss Confederation
Delegates from Switzerland were in the crowd. We hope they were wearing sunscreen.  
Canada
Surprisingly, the Canucks were not wearing ice skates.
England
The Brits came to Ultra for a bloody good time. God save the beat!
The People's Republic of China
The Chinese are proud and happy to be part of the United Nations of Ultra.
The Kingdom of Spain
Spain had the best seat in the house. The person directly behind Spain? Not so much.
The Commonwealth of Australia
The mates from Down Under were in attendance. Quick, somebody get 'em some vegemite and a crocodile to wrestle before things get violent.
The Republic of Turkey
The Turks were taking it all in, waiting patiently for the bass to drop.
The United States of America
The good ol' U.S.A. was in the house, and offering hugs to anyone in need.
The Kingdom of Norway
At Ultra 2015, the Norwegians and Canadians joined forces to form the dream team of raver politeness.
Even though this was an incomplete survey of the various nations in attendance at Ultra, we still feel good about these new world leaders. Because in the end, the United Nations of Ultra is about one thing and one thing only: love.


And butts. There are a lot of butts in the United Nations of Ultra.
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Ryan Pfeffer is Miami New Times’ music editor. After earning a BS in editing, writing, and media from Florida State University, Ryan joined the New Times staff in November 2013 as a web editor, where he coined the phrase "pee-tweet" (to retweet someone while urinating). Born and raised in Fort Lauderdale, he’s now neck-deep in bass and booty in the 305.
Contact: Ryan Pfeffer