Tom Cotter: "If a Woman Gets on Stage and Talks About Her Vagina, You Can Hear Sphincters Shut"

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New Times: I'm one of those people that has decided against cable so although I didn't see you on America's Got Talent, I did a YouTube search to get to know your material. How has the fact that videos of your act are so easily accessible affected your standup career?

Tom Cotter: I'm OK with my material being available online because they're just teasers. On the show, every spot was just 90 seconds, but I just did a gig the other night for an hour.  So I'll show people 90 seconds all day and hope that they come see an hour. And really, I hope a lot of people don't have television, like you, so they weren't one of the 29 million people that saw me lose to a dog act.

Are you aware that literally thousands of women in airports have seen you using your finger to mimic a penis in the latest issue of Cosmo?

Yes, my niece texted me the photo two days ago! I am on the "Sexy vs. Skanky" section being skanky by putting my finger through my fly. I do this quite often because it is in fact the actual size of my penis. Any PR is good PR, Madonna taught us that back in the '80s. My parents had to listen to me and my wife on The Howard Stern Show and he was asking us horrible personal questions; So a pic of me with my finger sticking out my fly is not my worst fear. 

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Dana Krangel