Top 10 Wackiest Waka Flocka Flame Rhymes on Triple F

Since the mid-'90s, when gangsta rap almost popped a cap in its own ass, hip-hop has become increasingly ridiculous.We mean this in the best way possible. A big part of rap music's new wave of silly has to do with fanciful linguistic feats, resplendent with technique and cleverness. Starting with...

By Matt Preira

November 8, 2012

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Since the mid-'90s, when gangsta rap almost popped a cap in its own ass, hip-hop has become increasingly ridiculous.

We mean this in the best way possible. A big part of rap music's new wave of silly has to do with fanciful linguistic feats, resplendent with technique and cleverness. Starting with Lil Wayne in the early 2000s and right up through today's swag icons, like Odd Future and A$AP Rocky, rhyming has become increasingly linear and, more important, increasingly comedic.

This couldn't be more true than for the MCs at the other end of the humor spectrum. We're talking about Neanderthal kingpins, geniuses who have made fine art out of creative stupidity. On the blogs, Lil B is the still-reigning champion of non-sequitur hip-hop. And on the radio, courageousness is best encapsulated by the boisterous Waka Flocka Flame, who resembles Gucci Mane, if he rapped even less and shouted everything. We interpreted, here, some of that rapper's most wacky rhymes from his latest release, Triple F Life: Friends, Fans & Family.

10. "I'm too drunk, I'm too high to hear that fuck shit/Came to the club, yeah, I'm on that fuck shit!"

If you're too drunk or high to figure out this lyric, start approaching it like an algebraic expression in which you're trying to deduce the numerical value of "fuck shit." In this case, we're pretty sure it's either "420" or "69." Or both.

9. "Spare tier in the trunk, ride with an extra shot/Spend your rent money at that Benihana restaurant"

Waka Flocka Flame at Benihana? Perhaps he's cold chillin' with Steve Aoki, renowned DJ and heir to the teppanyaki-style Japanese cooking empire. Sounds like an excellent pilot for a buddy movie or a heartfelt documentary about race in America.

8. "Throwing money in the air like I don't really care/Standing on the chair like I don't really care/Got bitches by the pair, I'm baller of the year / And haters everywhere but I don't really care/No I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't really care"

Aside from the occasional "Occupy Something" outbreak, the Facebook generation is a bunch of apathetic, apolitical, flip-flopping nihilists. Shit, even nihilists care more about the state of the world around them than your average sexting 13- to 20-year-old. The chorus of Waka's "I Don't Really Care" reflects that righteous ambivalence with poetic conviction.

7. "Bout cake plus nigga I'm straight/Eat it out the pot/I don't need no plate"

Why does Waka Flocka Flame bake cakes in pots? This man is out of control.

6. "I'm from the south/Southern Hospitality / Soul food dinners, dinners, dinners, dinners, dinners, dinners"

Are we the only one who find the repetition of the word "dinners" to be friggin' heeelarious?

5. "I love money and she love me back/Money in my stomach got me lookin' fat"

Let's break this one down. Professor Flocka is not only personifying money as though it could experience an abstract emotion like love. He is also describing his appreciation for currency as though it were an insatiable hunger, resulting in the narrator becoming, in his own estimation, overweight.

4. "I don't like your kind, you a bourgie ho/All in my face like a groupie ho/Can't do one girl need a group of ho"

Everyone loves to reference Rick Ross's rhyming of "Atlantic" with "Atlantic." Well, you might want to roll another one for the road, because Waka Flocka Flame just rhymed ho, with ho and ho.

3. "Them tattoos and that jury don't make you hardest/And your coochy rap about it in your car garage/You fake as hell, fake as shit, counterfeit"

This wouldn't be so weird if it didn't have the part about the coochy. But throw that key word into the mix and you're well on your way to WTF.

2. "Now got me Ms. Scrooge nigga/I'm like Scrooge / Got a fucking duck / When I jump out nigga duck"

Whoa, there's a lot going on here. First things first: Waka establishes himself as "Scrooge" after telling us he's landed himself a Ms. Scrooge. And then he says he's "Got a fucking duck," which doesn't make any sense but is a sideways sort-of reference to late '80s children's cartoon Duck Tales. And then the pun on duck makes us wonder if Waka is a secret genius after all.

1. "Hair long and her eyes light/Her smile shine like the sunlight/One of a kind, baby momma type"

In this stanza, Mr. Flame details the magical, "one of a kind" experience of spotting a longhaired woman with light eyes that you want to get pregnant.

Waka Flaka Flame, "Friends, Fans, and Family Tour," with Wooh Da Kid and Reema Major. 8 p.m. Wednesday, November 14, at Revolution Live, 100 SW Third Ave., Fort Lauderdale. Tickets cost $25, plus fees. Call 954-449-1025, or visit jointherevolution.net.

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