Top 20 Signs You've Spent Way Too Much Time in Lake Worth

The monstrous 300,000-gallon water tank off I-95, just north of Sixth Avenue, lets you know you've arrived: Lake Worth. Where Palm Beach County's creatives nestle. This artistic little hub is home to 561's misfits, drunks, unemployed artists, migrant workers, and the blue-collar sorts. Chances are, if you are of that lot, you already reside there -- off a street named after the letter of the alphabet, perhaps.

For live-music fans, there's no place quite like it. On any given night, there may be three or four bands going in a two-square-mile radius. This type of fertile musical landscape, coupled with cheap booze, can lead one to overfrequent Lake Worth. Don't be ashamed if you find yourself abusing this city's eccentricities often -- hey, it happens.

We got together with two Lake Worth notables, Bobby Love (who is currently booking shows at Speakeasy Lounge) and Jon Glassman (of Luna Rex fame), and concocted a convenient little checklist. If five or more of the following apply to you, you just might have a Lake Worth problem... and that's just fine by us.

See also: Lake Worth Is the Coolest City in South Florida

20.You are currently dating a bartender at Propaganda who used to serve at Speakeasy and who has previously dated a few of your friends, and it's totally OK.

19. You are a heterosexual male whose choice Friday-night event is Hurly Burly.

18. You are establishing a serious standing line of credit at Mother Earth Coffee.

17. In the past six months, you have built an equally respectable debt at Coastars, where your artwork will be displayed next weekend.

16. You are on a first-name basis with Gabi and Peter at Little Munich, where your pregame consists of a couple of Franziskaner Weiss drafts.

15. You haven't trimmed your beard in several months, and if you look hard enough, you may find a little surprise consisting of yesterday's lunch buried in your heavy-duty facial fuzz.

14. Your name is on a mug at Dave's Last Resort.

13. You've had a "wild night" with Mick Swigert (AKA Micky Vintage) of Spred the Dub.

12. You have made it to Top Five Records when it is actually open.

11. Somebody stole your bike, even though you had it padlocked to a tree off Lake Avenue with one of those heavy-duty Master locks.

10. You boast that you saw Surfer Blood perform at the mysterious Club Sandwich back in the day.

9. You use Lake Worth's Street Painting Festival as a reminder that Valentine's Day is right around the corner.

8. Ninety-percent of your Facebook photos are at the Bryant Park seawall.

7. You really didn't like swamp-punk, but now you are a huge Everymen fan and even helped the fellas book a show at your hometown in the Midwest.

6. DJ HiGrade has bought you a PBR on a slow night at Propaganda after you shook off the embarrassment of being busted by bartender Sara for staring at her cleavage.

5. You've blacked out at Reggae Fest but are confident that you had a great time.

4. You've spent at least 30 minutes waiting line to use the stalls at Sneakers (or, equally, spent 30 minutes in the stall at Sneakers).

3. What you call your "Friday night jog" is, in reality, just you running away from loose dogs around K Street.

2. Off the top of your head, you know which bands are performing at the Speakeasy, Propaganda, AND Bamboo Room this weekend.

1. You have been 86'd from Harry's Banana Farm.

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