Exhibit A for why so many people born in the 1970s experimented with drugs is The Muppet Show.
This primetime, half-hour variety show aimed at kids was possibly the most whacked out craziest bit of insanity to ever play on television. Running from 1976 to 1981, and starring Kermit the Frog, Gonzo, Miss Piggy, and a cast of thousands, it drew an eclectic crew of guest hosts from the world of film, stage, and music. Somehow these human performers were able, for the most part, to keep a straight face as they sang, danced, and exchanged puntastic banter with inanimate objects.
Here are the ten zaniest appearances by musicians on The Muppet Show. No matter how much cocaine the musicians might have done in the dressing room, they would never be able to catch up with Jim Henson and his imaginative cadre of puppeteers.
10. Diana Ross
The former Supreme tries to build up Fozzie Bear's self-esteem by equating joke-telling with her effortless singing then the disco gets rocking as she gets into a rendition of "Love Hangover."
9. Paul Simon
Rhymin' Simon and Gonzo form a mutual admiration as they write a song together. Somewhere Art Garfunkel felt cheap and used.
8. Kenny Rogers
Some elderly Muppets with human hands and legs sing along to The Gambler with America's favorite chicken peddler in perhaps the most depressing skit in the history of the Muppets.
With Jim Henson long gone, the '90s revamp of the Muppets is fairly unwatchable, but it is worth catching Prince (Then going by The Artist Formerly Known As Prince) performing "Starfish & Coffee."
6. Arlo Guthrie
The least famous name on the list looks the most embarrassed to be there as he sings the "Grocery Blues" with a little help from the Swedish Chef.
5) Elton John
Sir Elton looks more outrageous than his drummer Animal as he tickles the ivories to "Crocodile Rock."
4. Harry Belafonte
If it wasn't for Beetlejuice, Fozzie Bear constantly interrupting Harry Belafonte trying to sing would be the funniest version of "(Banana Boat Song) Day-O" ever.
3. Johnny Cash
With help from Lubbock Lou and his Jug Huggers (and Miss Piggy) the Man in Black sings a medley of "Orange Blossom Special" and "Jackson." Then he offends the piano-playing Ruff with a duet of "Dirty Old Egg Sucking Dog." Ruff is less than pleased with the stereotypes portrayed in the song, but doesn't say a word about the Confederate flag on the wall.
2. Debbie Harry
The singer of Blondie joins Kermit on a duet of "Rainbow Connection" in her dressing room and then leads a band of New Wave Muppets on renditions of "One Way or Another" and "Call Me." For her troubles, she's named an honorary frog scout.
1. Alice Cooper
It's as if the Count didn't care about numbers anymore and transformed into a human. "Welcome to My Nightmare" is presented with a psychedelic Muppet band. There's an offer to make Kermit a rock star at the mere price of his soul, and, of course, Miss Piggy sings a duet with Mr. Cooper.