If you believe the wisdom of Don Draper -- and, really, you should -- it's a simple case of, "men want her, women want to be like her." How else does one explain Spears' ongoing popularity and why you're holding a ticket to her September 2 gig at American Airlines Arena? Here are Spears' hottest videos. Enjoy them all after the jump.
Britney Spears,With Ciara and Kristinia DeBarge. Wednesday, September 2. American Airlines Arena, 601 Biscayne Blvd., Miami. Show begins at 8 p.m., tickets cost $39.50 to $577.75. Ticketmaster.com
1. "...Baby One More Time"
A 16-year-old Spears sports pigtails, schoolgirl outfit, a blouse tied above the mid-drift and sings, "my loneliness is killing me." Nabokov grins. Millions of grown men suddenly feel very creepy.
Spears takes ownership of the MILF-era of her career, displays her awesomely womanly nude figure in perhaps the single most important move of her current comeback.
Spears does an outstanding job of igniting every man's horniest fantasy about the Mile High Club.
4. "Oops! ... I Did It Again"
In a skin-tight red spacesuit and long blonde locks, Spears reminding us that she's "not that innocent" -- just in case anyone missed the naughty schoolgirl routine.
5. "I'm a Slave 4 You"
"I know I might be young, but I have feelings, too, and I need to do, what I feel like doing," Spears intones at the beginning of this steamy 2001 clip. Her insistence that men view her as a woman (read: sexual object) is laughable and woman studies rightfully have a field day dissing her -- but the video, the video: If it's sex your peddling, you just can't go wrong with banging bodies, the starlet in red bra-n-leather pants and group grope shots.
A handsomely shot ensemble piece with Spears turning in a winning, rather classy performance as the sexy, empowered ringmaster. Our faith in the little pop tart is revived.
7. "Piece of Me"
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Spears looks simply stunning -- and terrifically tough -- in this popping jab at the paparazzi.
8. "Gimme More"
"It's Britney, bitch!" Spears on a stripper pole? It was only a matter of time. Dig the jet-black hair, fishnets and gratuitous cheek shots.
9. "My Prerogative"
Spears emerges unharmed from a car crash in the pool -- and that's impressive -- but the black and white bit featuring her rolling around half-naked in bed is most memorable. It's a blunt but successful homage to her biggest influence, Madonna.
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Brit rock's her trucker cap, "sexy jeans" and licks Snoop Dogg's beard. Some guys have all the luck.