The Tortuga Music Festival, held on Fort Lauderdale Beach, was created to raise money for the conservation of marine environments. But besides helping out turtles and fish and the great big blue ocean, it also offers fans of country music the chance to day-drink copious amounts of booze and jam out to their favorite artists.
The masses of people who attend the fest sport cowboy hats and Daisy Dukes, so it's fair to say that these music lovers know a little something about how to represent at a hoedown. So we had to ask them: How do you party like a cowboy? They gave us some pretty good tips to enjoying life on the range.
10. Moo-re party, please
When we asked this dude his tips to wiling out, he said, "Save a house, ride a heifer."
We dig the Brooks and Dunn reference, hombre. He refused to take a pic by himself, but hey, he's all about including his bros. Check him out in the orange hat on the right.
9. Once a band-aid...
Tori proudly answered our question with the very fitting: "Luke Bryan and some fireball, baby!" God bless you, Tori. Bless you more if you were the one who threw your bra onstage during Luke's set!
8. The girl group
You know them: the hot chicks who just want to have fun and kick it with the boys. But, they're also tight with their girls and travel in packs.
Theirs is a carefree outlook on life. When we asked them how they liked to get down, it was a chorus of: "Drink a lot of beer!" "Have no cares in the world!" "All you care about is having fun with your friends." "And sunshine." Um, can we hang with you chicks?
7. The pop and son duo
It's the dad and son duo that's bound to warm your heart. And how can it not at such a family friendly event as Tortuga? Nothing screams "home" like Daisy Dukes, plenty of booze, and some funky smells wafting through the air during Slightly Stoopid's set. Right?
"That's my dad," the son proudly said with a wide grin. "That's how we roll. Oh, and this is my Florida cowboy hat."
Pop made some country song references as he grabbed his wife and added, "She's shaking it for me, and she's giving me back some hometown action." Clearly, he has a different party plan than his son.
6. The Northern cowboy
Victor from the Bronx said the best way to party like a cowboy is "with your spurs on." One must look like a cowboy in order to party like one. Fair enough.
"Country (music) is better because people are more real. They're not plastic," he explained about the vibes. "They tell you how it is whether you like it or not... Country knows no boundaries." Amen, ya Yankee.
5. American girl
The all-American gal is patriotic and shows it by wearing flag stuff. She's also into cold brews, fried food, and the right to bear arms. We ran into many such ladies this weekend.
We asked this USA fan how to party like a cowboy, and she replied, "You need to drink beer out of a can, know how to tame an animal -- whether it is a bull or dog -- and love the smell of gun powder and pussy. 'Merica!"
4. The Jack Daniels cowgirl
We just loved this girl's shirt, so of course we hounded her for a chat. Not to mention, so many country songs are about drinking whiskey. So we figured she knew what she was talking about. And she did.
"First thing, you need to learn the lyrics to songs," said Jack (not her name, but fitting). "If you don't know Alana Jackson or Brooks and Dunn and their biggest hits, then you don't know county. Alan Jackson is old, so people should know who he is."
She was a little ashamed though of her beverage. "It sucks that I'm drinking a Corona, but someone bought me this. I should be drinking a Bud Light, because it's more appropriate for country music."
3. Flag-loving dude
With the all-American girl comes the all-American guy.
Hailing from Pennsylvania, this Tortuga partier just seemed like your regular retired frat bro, but he was oh, so much more. This guy is a country-loving, flag-bearing, binge-drinking retired frat bro... Who loves his country, of course. In his mind, the key to cowboy living is: "Drink like a champion."
When we asked if he had anything else to add, he shrugged his shoulders and said, "I love Florida." Deep, bro, deep.
2. Solo bro
At a festival, there's always a few solo dolos hanging around. Whether they got screwed out of going with a group of people or it was premeditated. But to them, going solo is the best. Why? It means no annoying group bathroom breaks, plus no babysitting sloppy drunk friends, or listening to Sober Sally bitch about how late it is, or getting scolded by the mom of the group. They bop to their own beat, and they like it.
Solo Bbo had a smile on his face and shrugged when we asked his for cowboy partying tips. "I'm having a good time," he said. So his key to partying like a cowboy? Go with the flow, and enjoy it.
1. The veteran cowgirl
Just like there are a bunch of rookies at a fest, there are always a couple vets scattered around. Like this chick. She's been to more festivals than she can remember.
Her key to partying like a cowboy is concerts. "I come to a lot of these festivals," she said. "This is not as ratchet -- it's nicer." She complimented Tortuga.
And we also couldn't help but admire her Wonder Woman bathing suit. It took "patriotism" to a whole new level.
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