We crossed a new boundary in culture. I'm not sure exactly what it is, but we've broken a seal.
Yes, hologram technology has existed prior to Tupac's appearance at Coachella, but there's something different this time that has incited the question all over the internet: What other dead celebrities would you want to see? Who's next?
Forget wax museums; we're moving on to full-fledged holograms on tour. Doesn't matter if you're dead! You can still entertain us. Will there be hologram roadies? Or will real people with real problems wake up with a foggy memory and an empty fifth next to an unscathed hologram in their bed? Can a hologram of a hologram bring the o.g. Obi-Wan to 'tween birthday parties everywhere?
Will SAG actors be filing lawsuits against their hologram counterparts? Stupid holograms. Coming here, taking our jobs. Can two holograms marry each other in this country? It's no holds barred. I have been wondering since the inception of the internet how people can believe in anything anymore. This is next-level shit. Now anyone can come back. Weeeee! And the people who had their heads frozen, what suckers. (Kind of) Alive is the new dead.
So who do we want to see? The answers are everywhere; many are obvious. Since holograms take the wind from the sails of death, we can just look at it as temporary. So, let's break down what's on everyone's mind.
10. Whitney Houston
J.K.! I was just resting my eyes. Come see the Broadway performance ofThe Bodyguard
. I too wanna dance with somebody, and that somebody is you, Snoop.
9. Kurt Cobain
Something tells me he wouldn't be into reperforming as a hologram, but that doesn't seem to factor into the decisions. Next year, Coachella!
8. Michael Jackson
It can beThriller
, for REAL.
7. Biggie Smalls
The obvious rebuttal. East Coast should have its hologramic turn too; let's be fair. His hologram is totally rolling in its grave right now.
6. Amy Winehouse, Janis Joplin, Jimi Hendrix, Jim Morrison...
In fact, the whole 27 club could be its own tour. No, reality-TV show.
5. Jerry Garcia
Can you imagine the audience? This must have happened already. Grateful Alive reunion! And remember the fight scene fromHalf Baked
? Anyone? When Jerry came back from the dead to save the day. That'd be a nice closer.
Doi! No brainer. Take off that stupid suit, and let technology drive. Can holograms marry people and jump out of planes? Harder question.
3. John Lennon
, CIA. It's a lot easier to do stuff now that was holding me back when I had an earthly body.
2. Chris Farley
'Cause a hologram of him would be hilarious! The furniture-crushing part would present an extra challenge, since he wouldn't weigh anything... Never mind.
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1. Jesus Christ
It's his year. Now all those folks who were embarrassed when the Rapture didn't happen after they stocked their basements with canned goods, water, and conviction will get another chance. And it suits him. He's so used to not having a body. It might get awkward when the real him comes back and sees what happens. "Who's this guy?" It'll be just like the Great Oz or something. I don't know how anybody believes anything anymore.