Concerts

Uber Exclusive South Beach Party at Vagabond Thursday, Bro

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Ed Hardy must die.
​The Ed Hardy T-shirt. Nothing is a bigger symbol of douchebaggery in clubland than it. It's a faux-tattoo armor for those too wimpy to get real ones. Bedazzled and they achieve a whole another level of douchiness. Oh, and if you're wearing Affliction you have two strikes against you: you're poor and you're a douchebag.

In a what-took-us-so-long moment, Vagabond's Thursday night party (((Shake))) pays tribute to the eyesore with its "Uber Exclusive VIP Halloween" party. Partygoers are encouraged to don Ed Hardy gear in order to gain free entry this Thursday. Girls, you aren't being left out either. Make sure your ass tells everyone how "Juicy" it is by wearing your favorite Juicy Couture clothing.

But there's more: possibly fictional DJs Danner Von Martenberg (Berlin), Aaron T (back from Ibiza), and Diesto (Tiesto's brother) are all on the bill. Bottle service with pretty sparklers will be poppin' all night, God willing somebody drops five grand for a table.

We wonder how many South Beach patrons will accidentally make a detour to Vagabond and think they fit right in. Yep, douchebags.

By the way, for great moments in brotography or for costume ideas, check out TakeMyBroto.com. Sideways peace sign, y'all!

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Jose D. Duran has been the associate web editor of Miami New Times since 2008. He's the voice and strategist behind the publication's eyebrow-raising Facebook and Twitter feeds. He has also been reporting on Miami's music, entertainment, and cultural scenes since 2006, previously through sites such as MiamiNights.com and OnBeat.com. He earned his BS in journalism with a minor in art history from the University of Florida. He's a South Florida native and will be a Miami resident as long as climate change permits and the temperature doesn't drop below 60 degrees.
Contact: Jose D. Duran