Gay, straight, bi, or simply rolling face, if you're a man with abs like Jesus and just enough fabric to cover your genitals, there's nothing wrong with sporting a little male camel in Miami this weekend.
It's Ultra Music Festival, baby! And the Gym, Tan, Molly fraternal order of male ravers are loud, proud, and hanging 'round in their Diesel underpants, Umbro soccer shorts, and furry boots.
Here are the top ten (almost) naked raver bros at Ultra 2013.
Ho! Ho! Ho!
Y'all have heard of Santa Claus, right? This is his raving doppelgänger, Santa Cock.
The Village People called; they need the headdress back, papo.
A Formal Affair
Ultra Dress Policy: Black tie, no shirt.
This bro's spirit animal must be exhibitionist panda. Cute boots, dude.
Is that a banana in your pants? Or are you just happy to be at Ultra? Well played, Chubs.
Ballsy outfit, bro!
We actually asked this bro to "act natural" for the picture.
With that much body hair, why bother wearing clothes?
Captain No Pants
Who needs pants when you've got a captain's hat, sunglasses, and sweet golf cart?
Photo by George Martinez
Always remember to match your tie to your kandi kid accessories.
If you like this story, consider signing up for our email newsletters.
SHOW ME HOW
You have successfully signed up for your selected newsletter(s) - please keep an eye on your mailbox, we're movin' in!