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Ultra 2013: Top Ten (Almost) Naked Raver Bros

SantaCock-001.JPG
Gay, straight, bi, or simply rolling face, if you're a man with abs like Jesus and just enough fabric to cover your genitals, there's nothing wrong with sporting a little male camel in Miami this weekend.

It's Ultra Music Festival, baby! And the Gym, Tan, Molly fraternal order of male ravers are loud, proud, and hanging 'round in their Diesel underpants, Umbro soccer shorts, and furry boots.

Here are the top ten (almost) naked raver bros at Ultra 2013.

See also

- Top 13 Hardcore Ravers at Ultra 2013 in Animated GIF!

- The Six Bad Bitches You Meet at Ultra Music Festival

- 75 St. Paddy's Day Leprechauns at Ultra 2013

Ho! Ho! Ho!

Y'all have heard of Santa Claus, right? This is his raving doppelgänger, Santa Cock.

YMCA

The Village People called; they need the headdress back, papo.

A Formal Affair

Ultra Dress Policy: Black tie, no shirt.

PANDA-monium

This bro's spirit animal must be exhibitionist panda. Cute boots, dude.

Full Chub

Is that a banana in your pants? Or are you just happy to be at Ultra? Well played, Chubs.

Cojones

Ballsy outfit, bro!

Fanny Package

We actually asked this bro to "act natural" for the picture.

Furry

With that much body hair, why bother wearing clothes?

Captain No Pants

Who needs pants when you've got a captain's hat, sunglasses, and sweet golf cart?

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Photo by George Martinez

Ultra Formal

Always remember to match your tie to your kandi kid accessories.



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