Kids today have iPhones and STDs, man. You think they fuck around when it comes to threatening adults with mischief in order to get sweets? They're printing out maps from Google, learning their neighbor's daily routines, and packing heat.
County Grind salutes these enterprising hoodlums for their hustle. And we've put together a little guide for the TOTers with enough balls to demand candy from musical celebrities. Here are the treats these famous folks'll give out, from beef patties to candy canes.
10. Katy Perry's Candied Fudgesicle Cupcakes with Chocolate Whipped Buttercream
If your kids ring the "California Girls" singer's doorbell this Halloween, they are at a much higher risk for having seizures and going blind from the kilograms of sugar they are about to ingest.
9. The Mummies' Gummies
It only makes sense that undead rockers would serve a gelatinous version of the slithering vermin feasting on their rotting flesh.
8. Snoop Lion: Beef Patties and Weed Brownies
Tonight, circa 9 p.m., the streets will be filled with hollow-eyed children dressed like Justin Bieber's Twitter Account and Slutty Cinderellas, in a daze after ingesting a one-two punch of expertly seasoned red meat and chocolatey confections baked with high-grade bubonic chronic.