So who is Yanni, really? Is he merely a pin-up and a poser, some sort of schlock jock, a kitschy crusader like those who are unmoved by his grandiose symphonic hyperbole tend to suspect he is? Or is there something more to his New Age manipulation, something so compelling, it's possible to brush aside the bravado and verbosity to understand and appreciate what his legions have come to adore?
On the surface, it appears he's merely the musical equivalent of Fabio, an airbrushed idol that causes the ladies to pledge their devotion and the men to glare at him suspiciously, aghast at his pomp and pretension. Either way, you do have to hand it to him; whatever his charms, he was able to snag that babe Linda Evans -- when she was at the peak of her babe-ness that is. And the guy has made a mint by successfully convincing at least some people that New Age isn't merely Muzak in disguise, what with those crowning keyboards and swirling synths.
It's kind of like sitting in a staff meeting with the big boss at work and tossing out an anecdote about what happened the last time I was at the doctor's office for a check up and got a blood test, and then had to take a urine test immediately after, and I became so woozy after they took the blood, I couldn't get my aim straight to whiz into the jar.
It seemed like a funny tale at the time, but I knew immediately after the words starting escaping from my lips, I had made a strategic error in sharing the story at that particular juncture. I'm not making this up. It actually happened. The looks of shock and dismay on the faces of my co-workers made an indelible imprint that caused me to question not only my judgment, but my sanity as well.
Our musical tastes are so disparate anyway, so why aggravate the situation by bringing up the merits, or lack thereof, of a man who I inherently felt repulsed by, both musically and symbolically? But then, forced for the sake of research, I grabbed that damned disc off the shelf and put it on the player. Could I relate to those numbing Cirque-like soundtracks? Would it lead to aesthetic enlightenment? Is there a reason New Age is such a rage? Why would his label, Private Stock, put such stock in him? Can a lute or a bouzouki really make headway against the neo-classical crush of keyboards? And could I ever get beyond song titles like "Nightbird" or "Quiet Man"?
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I even bumped up my admiration and appreciation when I read Yanni used to be a member of the Greek National Swimming Team, which meant he had to wait an awful long time to grow his magnificent mane. (Try squeezing that hair under a bathing cap!) I mean, what a transition -- to go from being an athlete to composing material used by "Wide World of Sports" and the Olympics. Okay, maybe not. And maybe I am a bit bitter because some good looking dude with lengthy locks - uh oh, I'm thinking Fabio again - manages to make the women swoon and their husbands conceal their jealousy in order to feign admiration.
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