The Palm Beach Post is heavily pimping its newest blog, Sonja Isger's "The Morning Brew." I noticed it this morning, thanks to a giant ad for it on the newspaper's homepage. The blog's logo is a Palm Beach Post newspaper and a cup of coffee. Oh yeah, morning brew. Get it?
I didn't. Anyway, I start scrolling down, you know, the way I do, and I'm thinking, "What the hell is this?" There was no rhyme or reason to it, just miscellaneous links and haphazard thoughts, like, "Don’t get me wrong. I love Christmas. But can’t I have some turkey first?"
That little bit was posted at 1 a.m. this morning. Her next line: "Chew on that until I get here at 6 a.m." And bless Sonja's heart, she beat her own deadline. At 5:57 a.m. this morning she posted this:
Good morning everyone. Let’s just start by saying it’s cool now by afternoon we’re getting a cool front. This morning temperatures in the Treasure Coast all the way to Delray Beach are in the 50s. My son’s backyard gauge is still hovering at 63 degrees. The Channel 12 weather guy is actually using the term “burst of cool air.” He says this morning’s low was lower than normal. That’s a change. I’m ready.
And the traffic … not so bad still, even at 8:20 a.m ...
Any more news? Earth's axis still tilted at 23.5 degrees while it rotates the sun? Check. Force of gravity standing between us and utter and horrific chaos? Check. Planets still circling suns in faraway galaxies? Check. (She actually wrote about that one).
Thirty-five minutes later she wrote something about water restrictions that included the trenchant sentence, "We're headed into dry season." Are we now? Thirty-five minutes after that, at 7:03 a.m., we get a post about a robbery. Twenty-eight minutes later, Isger hits us with this lead: "Folks in Washington are throwing down over what can be called 'natural' food."
Then at 8:04 she does something on a CNN story about surfers that includes the line, "Dude, why can't I check my board?" And, while I was typing this thing up, she's already added another post that, without transition, tackles a guy's Ferrari catching fire, noisy motorcycles, a Frank Gehry building, and a vote on the "n-word" in Los Angeles. It's titled, and I'm not joking, "Ferraris, motorcycles, the N-word and the architect."
That's all in the space of nine hours. Enough caffeine, Sonja. I think we're clearly seeing the signs of sleep deprivation. Either that, or this is the first blog aimed at the adult Attention-Deficit Disorder demographic. Morning brew? How about morning meth?