A big-ass brawl with a machete and pool cues apparently broke out at a Davie bar on Sunday.
There were also bar stools involved in the melee.
According to police, the fight broke out at the Big Dawgs Sports Cafe, located at 13010 W. St. Road 84, after a patron harassed some women and then decided to take the crazy to the next level and started waving around a machete.
According to an arrest report, police found Jony Jesus Saravia walking around looking like he'd had a head-on collision with a train.
Savaria, 26, told responding Davie Fire Rescue officials that he had been jumped and beaten up.
But as he was being treated for his injuries at Memorial Regional Hospital, cops learned that Saravia didn't tell the whole truth.
Yes, he was jumped and beaten. But only because he decided to come at some dudes while wielding a machete.
According to the report, Savaria had been at Big Dawgs earlier in the day. While there, he was allegedly harassing female customers.
Savaria was kicked out of the bar for being a huge d-bag.
But he would soon return to avenge this insult by going back into the bar and speaking with the manager to iron out their differences.
Just kidding. Savaria actually returned to Big Dawgs, hopped up onto the bar, and whipped out his machete. He then began waving the weapon around, the report says.
At this point, Big Dawg patrons began throwing bar stools at Savaria.
Others grabbed pool cues and began fighting Savaria. The report says they were trying to knock the machete out of his hands with the pool cues. But, obviously, they mistook his face for his hands multiple times.
Realizing that a man with a machete versus a bunch of people with chairs and pool cues was an unfair fight, Savaria ran out of the bar.
Once the truth was out, police arrested Savaria on a charge of aggravated assault with a deadly weapon. A judge set his bond at $15,000, citing the level of violence as a factor in his decision.