A Few Election Eve Headlines | The Daily Pulp | South Florida | Broward Palm Beach New Times | The Leading Independent News Source in Broward-Palm Beach, Florida

A Few Election Eve Headlines

Alu quits State Attorney's Office

I'm hearing that Sunrise City Commissioner Sheila Alu abruptly quit her job as prosecutor at the State Attorney's Office today. Alu, who blew the whistle on Judge Ana Gardiner, isn't talking about it, but she has complained in the past about what she claimed were retaliatory actions from supervisors since this story was published. More later on this one.

Israel playing up to New Yawkahs

In a robocall, sheriff's candidate Scott Israel touts his "pristine rekkid." Yeah, it's supposed to be "record" (and no, it's not pristine) but what I took from it is that Israel is really stressing his New York origins, trying to get a win the election over Sheriff Al Lamberti with a big whollop from the heavily New York-born, heavily Jewish condos.

The New Yorkers used to keep it cool, knowing that the real power around here lay with the native-born crackers (can you say Hamilton Forman?). But they're getting a little uppity these days. Who was it that recently told me that most of the people down here are from New York or wish they were? May have been empire-builder Scott Rothstein (correct me if I'm wrong, Scott).

That's some big in-your-face Big Apple talk in citrus country. Who would have thought New Yorkers could ever be so cocky? Watch out Scott, backlash against big-talking slicks from the big city can be pretty severe around here, no matter how good your rekkid might be.

Obama signs disappear

I live in a neighborhood in Plantation that used to be firmly Republican but is now probably half and half. As fate would have it, though, the campaign signs on my street indicated an Obama clean sweep -- every sign was for the Democrat. Until Sunday morning. That's when we all woke up to find all the Obama signs missing (two signs for remained for Ron Klein, who apparently he wasn't deemed important to commit a minor crime for). I didn't have a sign up (two reporters in the household, not a good idea) but I was pissed. My neighbor Phil came over and we talked about it.

"Makes you want to respond in kind," I said. "Or at least buy a paintball gun," said Phil.

Now there was an idea. Making a midnight run through the neighborhood firing on every McCain/Palin sign we could find.

I thought the culprits were probably just some Plantation rednecks. Phil, a school teacher, suggested it might be some GOP operatives from out of state. Either way, it reeks of desperation.

We didn't buy any guns, by the way. I figure revenge for the Obama supporters on my street will best be served at the polls.

Hedge Fund Jokes Mildly Amusing From the Wall Street Journal:

What's the definition of optimism? An investment banker who irons five shirts on a Sunday evening.

What is the capital of Iceland? About $3.50.

I tried to get cash from an ATM today, but it said "insufficient funds." I don't know if that meant them or me.

What's the difference between an investment banker and a large pizza? The pizza can still feed a family of four.

KEEP NEW TIMES BROWARD-PALM BEACH FREE... Since we started New Times Broward-Palm Beach, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of South Florida, and we'd like to keep it that way. With local media under siege, it's more important than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" program, allowing us to keep offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food and culture with no paywalls.
Journalist Bob Norman has been raking the muck of South Florida for the past 25 years. His work has led to criminal cases against corrupt politicians, the ouster of bad judges from the bench, and has garnered dozens of state, regional, and national awards.
Contact: Bob Norman

Latest Stories