Welcome to Fort Lauderdale! How was the flight in from [insert boringly shaped state here]?
We hope the humidity didn't catch you off-guard. It's a very wet heat down here in South Florida. Also, it's one of the hit-and-run capitals of America. But we don't need to talk about that right now.
Back to you! You're here for one reason and one reason only: to party. And, child, you've come to the right city. Fort Lauderdale is a great place to let loose and slap back a few Bud Light Platinums. Some locals even affectionately refer to our city as "Fort Liquordale." We affectionately refer to these locals as "douchebags."