Broward News

Air Sex is Better Than No Sex
Like air guitar, but with different fake instruments.

But no air sex--that's the worst of all. And right now South Florida is effectively air-sex celebate. (Don't get me started on the air-religious groups.)

What is this "air sex," you ask?

"It's a lot like air guitar, but replacing the guitar with sex," says Chris Trew, one of the organizers of the Air Sex World Championships.

Competitors essentially mime sex to music, often with a funny narrative involved. One woman at the Alamo Drafthouse in Austin - the first venue in the U.S. to host such competitions - came out dressed as Sarah Palin, made out with an inflatable pig (smearing plenty of lipstick on said pig) and pretended to masturbate with a shotgun while a friends in wolf and moose costumes danced around her--all to the tune of "War Pigs" by Black Sabbath.

After the jump: video (yes, of the Palin show), and an explanation of why, if you live in Florida, you probably won't be seeing any air sex in person anytime soon.

Try not to snicker as the John McCain character swallows a bottle of E.D. pills.

Air sex got its start in Japan a few years ago, Trew says. When Drafthouse manager Tim League saw a YouTube clip of a competition full of reserved Japanese men and women thrusting around the stage to the beat of classic rock hits, he set about organizing a show in Austin.

Trew is part of a team touring the country, setting up air sex competitions all over the map-- except in Florida. It seemed odd: What better place for an open call to the most clever exhibitionists (and freaks) than the hedonistic den of iniquity that is South Florida?

The second stop on the tour - last night in Atlanta - was the closest Floridians will get to thrusting at oxygen for the approval of others without travelling, or starting a new air sex tour. I asked Trew why he left the Sunshine State off the list of dates.

"We really wanted to do South Florida," he told me. "The only reason we're not going down there is it's such a detour. So far down there."

As if that distance - that barrier - isn't part of what makes Florida so loose and charming, like it never stopped being the '70s down there.

Trew said he expects Florida will be on the tour next year, "for sure." Meanwhile, interested parties can follow tour dates through videos on the group's web site.

And you can get your fix at the Juice.

Here are some more air sexers. In this video, one woman feigns sloppy, drunk sex (much to the delight of the judges) and a man dressed as George Bush fucks the planet Earth.

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Michael J. Mooney