All 30 Cities in Broward County, Ranked From Worst to Best

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7. Lauderdale-by-the-Sea

Pros: Quaint 1950s architecture, a free community bus called the Pelican Hopper, and beaches within swimming distance to beautiful coral reefs.

Cons: It's kind of annoying that no one will talk shit about Lauderdale-by-the-Sea. If you're from somewhere, you should at least be able to trash it. The biggest scandal there was that some on-duty cops were moonlighting? And it was back in 1989? Seriously? What is this, The Truman Show? Stop filming Jim Carrey, LBS!

Bottom Line: The Pelican Hopper might be the cutest thing ever, you guys.

6. Dania Beach

Pro: Dania Beach is one of the few places in Florida where you can watch the great sport of jai alai, which is kind of like racquetball if it weren't such a wuss. You can also watch while drinking a $1 beer on Wednesdays at the Dania Casino & Jai Alai.

Con: Dania Beach used to have a sweet wooden roller coaster called the Hurricane. It's closed now and just sits there. There may not be anything sadder than watching a retired roller coaster just sit there, not having any fun.

Bottom Line: Sad roller coaster aside, Dania Beach is a cool place to kill a day. Watch some jai alai, play some poker, drink some beer, and walk the pier.

5. Oakland Park

Pros: Home to the Funky Buddha Brewery, which BeerAdvocate ranks at an impressive five stars, Oakland Park has really built quite a scene around this beloved brewery. The adjacent Jaco Pastorius Park hosts a bevy of cool local events and festivals, and across the street from the Buddha, one of Broward's best farmers' markets sets up shop every Tuesday. There's also Fox and Hound, offering the most pub-like atmosphere in the Fort Lauderdale area.

See also: Funky Buddha Bottles Available in Stores Now

Cons: This city of 30,000 was originally named Floranada -- a combination of "Florida" and "Canada." In other words, this city was founded as a portmanteau of the two most hated-on places in North America. And though it's certainly growing, it still needs its fair share of elbow grease.

Bottom Line: Just thinking about Oakland Park will make your liver hurt. But the best cure for a hangover is more beer, and you'll find plenty of that in Oakland Park.

4. Lauderhill

Pro: If you want to get your fix of culture, head to Lauderhill. Mind you, we're not talking about the whole open-mic-night-at-the-local-coffee-shop-type culture. No. Culture like, hey, I feel like eating part of the cow that scientists didn't even know existed. With Lauderhill's high foreign-born population, you won't need your passport to experience another country.

Con: High crime rates caused real estate blog Movoto to name the city number eight on its list of the nation's most dangerous small cities.

Bottom Line: Lauderhill is real. Untouched by gentrification, authentic, and delicious. It has personality, and if you've never been, change that as soon as you can.

3. Wilton Manors

Pros: There's a great Onion article called "Hell Now a Thriving Epicenter of Gay Culture" that basically describes the Malebolge as a utopia. Although the place is super-duper white at almost 80 percent, Wilton Manors also hosts 1,270 percent more gay residents per capita than the average American city. To quote the Onion article: "I thank Satan every day for welcoming me here."

See also: The Stonewall Pride 2014 Twilight Parade in Wilton Manors (Photos)

Cons: Ironically, this gay village seems be run by a fair number of racists. In 2008, the former assistant community services director circulated a work email titled "Proud to Be White." In 2010, the police chief circulated emails that were derogatory toward President Obama. Last year, a Wilton Manors couple appeared in a New Times slideshow wearing blackface. Most recently, a city commissioner used the "n-word" in a road-rage incident.

Bottom Line: Good if you think the Onion is on-point; bad if you think Obama is on-point.

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New Times Staff