Allen West Hired By Fox News Finally!

Frankly, Fox News, what took so damn long? After months of doing pretty much nothing since he lost his re-election bid to patrick Murphy, Allen West has finally landed himself a job! In the most obvious hiring of all time, West will become a Fox News contributor, the network announced...

By Chris Joseph

May 17, 2013

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Frankly, Fox News, what took so damn long?

After months of doing pretty much nothing since he lost his re-election bid to patrick Murphy, Allen West has finally landed himself a job!

In the most obvious hiring of all time, West will become a Fox News contributor, the network announced on Thursday. Because what Fox News needs is more over-reactionary people bashing the president over every little thing he does.

We at The Pulp thought (and still think) West would get his own show, because tea baggy people who see communists on cereal boxes is ratings bonanza.

However, according to Fox News executive vice presidentof programming Bill Shine, West will be hopping around from show to show, offering his commentary and insight on how Barack Obama is a Commie Nazi Socialist Terrorist-Coddling Menace Who Doesn't Use The Word "Terrorist" After Things Explode So Let's Impeach His Ass.

Pretty much what West has already been doing for the network. Only now he's going to get paid for it.

So, why West? Shine explains:

"Representative West's congressional and military experience along with his fearless approach to voicing key issues will provide a valuable point of view to the FOX News lineup."

Yes, his experience as a congressman that ultimately lost his job to a guy literally no one ever heard of after one term, and his experience in torturing prisoners of war and his fearless approach to things like, when he insults women and when he accuses the President of the United States of being a Communist, are really terrific credentials.

Prior to getting this gig with Fox, West had been the program director for something called PJ Media's Next Generation TV, where we assume he was training future teabaggers how the Publisher's Clearinghouse Sweepstakes are a Nazi-Communist propaganda that wants to indoctrinate old people to fight for the Red Army.

While we still hold out hope that Rick Scott will somehow choose West as his next lieutenant governor, we'll settle for keeping an eye out on West as he makes the Fox News rounds.

Should be a hoot!

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