Allen West Is a Troll | The Daily Pulp | South Florida | Broward Palm Beach New Times | The Leading Independent News Source in Broward-Palm Beach, Florida


Allen West Is a Troll

Republican Congressman and Professional Commie Hunter Allen West has a column in today's edition of D.C. newspaper The Hill, and, if you haven't yet been fortunate enough to receive its rhetorical wet willie, here's a breakdown of the otter-in-a-moonbounce-level silliness of what West tries to pass off as an actual discussion of ideas.

He leads with the controversy -- the "assertion regarding so-called 'communists' in the Congressional Progressive Caucus." First of all, they're only "so-called" because West so-called them that. Then, though, we get to the interesting part: "I am pleased it has inspired so much passionate debate," he writes, "for that was precisely the point."

Welp, it's settled. West has officially declared the strategy behind his strong influence on the national political discussion, the strategy that was apparent to anyone paying attention but not actually outlined by the man himself. Allen West is a troll.

(Quick break for those of you who think the word troll refers only to those grody creatures who live under bridges: It's also a term on the interwebs for commenters who post deliberately inflammatory comments. They are grody creatures who live under the bridges, if you will, of words.)

With this one sentence, West has poked a big, stupid hole in one of his most effective fundraising techniques -- say something ridiculous, then declaring "I'm under attack!!!!!" when people point out that it was ridiculous. West loves to make it sound like the media fascination with him is just dirty, whorish, liberal reporters sitting around a campfire plotting how to take down a Genuine Muscle-Clad .45-Caliber Patriot. It's not. Journalists don't say West acts stupid because they hate him. Journalists say West acts stupid because West acts stupid.

However he tries to frame it, there is absolutely no denying that West said, "I believe there are 78 to 81 members of the Democrat Party that are members of the Communist Party." He even went so far as to release a video of the statement, in which he very clearly enunciates every single word directly into a microphone. His attempts to clarify what he meant have been shamefully dishonest, but until now, it was at least plausible that he saw the outrage over the ridiculousness of his statements as an unprovoked attack on freedom or something. Maybe he has poor reading comprehension. Maybe he's delusional.

He's not.

He's a calculating, manipulative cartoon character of a legislator. But that cartoon character is a big old moneymaker: He's raised more than $8 million this cycle, and the majority of it is from outside of Florida -- the West machine is dependent on getting national headlines because the West machine is dependent on national money. And he now admits, in the newspaper, that he does it on purpose.

KEEP NEW TIMES BROWARD-PALM BEACH FREE... Since we started New Times Broward-Palm Beach, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of South Florida, and we'd like to keep it that way. With local media under siege, it's more important than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" program, allowing us to keep offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food and culture with no paywalls.
Rich Abdill

Latest Stories