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Allen West Legal Circus Resumes, Draws Flies; Staff Issues Threat

Veteran's Day honored confessed torturer Allen West by seeing the courts closed, allowing the disgraced former officer and his attorneys a day off from further embarrassing themselves. The legal maneuvers they've employed in lawsuits against local elections officials to stave off defeat in last week's congressional race are so ludicrous that Palm Beach Circuit Court Judge David Crow needed only 30 minutes Friday to toss West's team out on their ears.

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Not that it really matters to West, who has as much interest in serving as a legislator as he does in wiping Obama's butt. (We challenge anyone to name, off the top of their head, a single piece of legislation West has sponsored or even been associated with.) Colonel Crazy would rather break laws than make them, and the only point to his legal circus -- aside from a few additional minutes in the public eye -- is to play the victim card again and pave the way for the myth that he was stabbed in the back by "the liberals."

                                                                                                                      Courtesy of Matt Dawson

Fear not, though, West sycophants (and those of my fellow scribes who harvest Col. HuffnPuff for so much copy). The show must go on -- and will, starting today, when it resumes in St. Lucie County Circuit Court, where West's lawyers are expected to seek an injunction against certification of the election results.

Meanwhile, like flies on shit, West's carnival has drawn a raft of right-wing con artists, scrabbling for the limelight and shilling for shekels. Crackpot websites like and NewsNinja2012 are all over the case. At ReviveAmerica you can "click here now to show your support... $5, $25, $100, $500 or any amount whatsoever."   

Among the clowns in this tilted tent is Jeffrey Scott Shapiro, a freelance wingnut who's recently attached himself, isopod-like, to the West camp. Shapiro described himself to the Palm Beach Post as a "volunteer attorney," but he's played the fool for several years now, when not pleading for the birthers, on a crusade to rehabilitate the reputation of Stupid George W. Bush. Shapiro is a regular contributor to... Breitbart (of course).

On top of all that -- and more ominously -- West's campaign has threatened intimidation of St. Lucie elections officials by West's entourage of motorcycle-riding wannabe tough guys.

According to well-regarded political news website Politico, Chris LaCivita, a top West strategist, "said to expect widespread mobilization from West backers as St. Lucie election officials came under increased scrutiny. 'There are going to be things other than satellite trucks parked outside of the building,' he said. 'Stay tuned.'"

West's suburban commandoes may not be much to worry about, though. Here's how they whined about their treatment at Palm Beach County's ballot tabulation center last week. 

Pass the hankie.

Fire Ant -- an invasive species, tinged bright red, with an annoying, sometimes fatal bite -- covers Palm Beach County. Got feedback or a tip? Contact [email protected]

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