America's Economy Is A Sinking Cesspool

... And, with condolences to other leading villains like Angelo Mozillo and George W. Bush, this guy is the new poster boy for the financial disaster coming our way.

His name is Alan Schwartz and he's president and CEO of the once-giant investment bank Bear Stearns. Last week rumors spread that the bank, a leading player in the sub-prime mortgage crisis, was in jeopardy of going bankrupt due to liquidity problems (i.e. lack of money, which is a big problem for a BANK). As the stock began dropping from $70 to around $60, Schwartz took to the airwaves.

"There is absolutely no truth to the rumors of liquidity problems," he said.

The company's "balance sheet, liquidity, and capital remain strong," he said.

The company's first-quarter earnings (which are due out tomorrow) would meet analysts' range of forecasts, he promised.

On Wednesday, he got on CNBC and assured investors that Bear Stearns was fine and was going to turn a profit in the current quarter.

Fuckhead was lying through his teeth. Friday, the Fed announced that the bank's liquidity situation had "deteriorated" and that it was working with JP Morgan to bail out BS (what appropriate initials).

The stock plummeted Friday to $30, with some poor suckers holding with the belief that scumbag Schwartz would come through. Well, it was announced tonight (Sunday) that JP Morgan was buying BS for $2 a share.

Two bucks. Let put that in perspective. The thing was trading at about $175 early last year. Just a few months ago it's market cap was over $20 billion. It's now being sold for $236 million.

Hold on to your hat. The recession is here and the first big bank has gone belly-up. And a big reason that it hasn't been handled better is because the lying crooks at the bank have been hiding the dire truth, trying to bide time (and, in some cases, take profits). Schwartz showed us last week that they'll lie right down to the bitter end.

We use cookies to collect and analyze information on site performance and usage, and to enhance and customize content and advertisements. By clicking 'X' or continuing to use the site, you agree to allow cookies to be placed. To find out more, visit our cookies policy and our privacy policy.


All-access pass to the top stories, events and offers around town.

  • Top Stories