Audio By Carbonatix
Our correspondent goes undercover.
Maybe you’ve seen one of these Broward County buses around town that are wrapped with advertisements that describe Islam as being the religion of Abraham, Jesus, and Mohammed. “Got Questions? Get Answers!,” the ads promise.
Considering that the threat of radical Islam has been described as, you know, the defining issue of our time, I did have some questions, actually — and 20 minutes to kill on my drive home. I’m also working on a story about a woman from Iran, and it would be helpful to better understand her religion.
So I called. And I was converted. I think.
As kind of a side note, an aunt had been urging me to pray lately, and
in fact that very morning, I had
been thinking that I should get right with God. I figured I would work
on that after next week. Make it a New Year’s resolution.
I
should note that I was raised Catholic (made Communion but was never
confirmed); have a Jewish stepdad; and that the last church service I
enjoyed was a Unitarian Universalist service two years ago. I always
had trouble swallowing the idea of God being scary and vengeful, and
certain Bible passages never really resonated with me or outright
turned me off. Plus, this lady once came up to me and started speaking
in tongues and asked me if I wanted to accept Jesus as my personal
savior. Her approach scared the bejeezus out of me.
Yet, I feel
there are definitely miracles in the world. How else can a sperm and
egg make a baby? How else could something as fascinating as a seahorse
come to exist? Coconuts? Afternoon sunshine? Best
I could figure out is that nature is always right; I try to always
trust nature. So I had been moving through a pretty agnostic existence,
not sure what to believe except that there’s something grand
and spiritual out there. If I do my best to be good, hopefully
he/she/it will forgive me for being a bumbling, questioning, thinking
human being.
So I dialed the number from the bus advertisement: 1-888-ISLAM-55. It connected me to
a recording that said I could receive a free copy of the Qur’an. I was transferred to a young man who sounded like he
was home cooking dinner. His name, it turned out, was Chandrajeet, and
he was a 28-year-old computer programmer from Chicago who had
volunteered to talk to callers. He took my name and address. He offered
to answer any questions I had.
Are women considered equal under Islam? Yes.
What about that whole “kill the infidels” thing? Who is to
decide who’s the infidel? If you kill someone, it’s like you killed the
whole world; if you help someone, it’s like you helped the whole world.
God alone will judge in the end.
Is there a heaven and hell? Yes, but
not like a golden meadow or a flaming BBQ pit; both are way, way beyond
what any human can comprehend.
At one point, he asked if I believed
there was only one God, and I said I thought so, yes. It was a
enlightening, reassuring, and very pleasant conversation that ended up
lasting about 45 minutes.
As we were wrapping it up,
Chandrajeet asked again if I believed in one God. I said that I already
told him that I did. He asked if I would like him to be a witness of
that. Not sure where this was leading and yet not wanting to offend
him, I answered again, “Well, I already told you I think there’s only
one God.”
“OK…,” he said, hesitating for a second and then
eagerly launching into what I think was an Arabic prayer. Then, he
congratulated me.
“Wait — am I a Muslim now?” I asked.
“Yes!!” I’m sure he was beaming on the other end of the line.
“Um… shouldn’t I read the Qur’an first?”
“I’ll send that out to you! And you know what?”
“What?”
“I am going to look for a headscarf to send you as well.”
“Aw, that’s really sweet of you!”
I
thanked him for his time. He truly was adorable. Not long afterward, I
opened an email he had sent out to several people, saying he had welcomed
a “sister who is the newest in faith and as if a new born baby.” His
wife had also emailed me saying, “A biggggggggggg hug n sweet kisses
from my side to you sister!” I felt touched by their genuineness and
warmth.
However, I’m not sure where this leaves me. I’m not
sure if I have inadvertently accepted some things I didn’t mean to. I
also don’t want to disrespect anyone’s religion. I’m not sure if I am
now in for some wrath from my Christian side. Am I going to be
aggravating any bigwig in the sky if I attend Midnight Mass?
Anyway, my Qur’an is on its way.
— Deirdra Funcheon
