An' Jushtiss f'r All!

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Machine results: .161 blood-alcohol level.

Jason Holloway, 25, of Loxahatchee, draftsman.

Why he was stopped: Instead of putting his Jetta in drive while waiting at a stoplight on the night of November 15, 2004, on Biscayne Boulevard in West Palm Beach, Holloway put it in reverse. Unfortunately, a police car was behind him. He tapped bumpers before realizing what happened.

What he said: He'd only had two beers, but Holloway told the cops he "deserved what he was getting" and that he was "glad he did not kill anyone or their family because he could have."

Machine results: .145 blood-alcohol level.

Anthony Coppola, 56, of Wellington, director of the Saratoga Polo Association and Polo Club in Saratoga, New York.

Why he was stopped: Just after midnight on November 21, 2004, Coppola tried to take the turn into the Palm Beach Polo Club in Wellington, where he owns a home. He jumped a curb, hit a gate, and struck a tree.

What he said: He told a nearby security guard: "I didn't drink too much. I just came around a little too fast." He admitted to "probably" being drunk after downing about four beers at the Players Club but said it was "debatable" whether he was feeling the effects.

Machine results: .145 blood-alcohol level.

What he says now: "My attorney got rid of it. I don't really have much to say about it."

Suveshen Naidoo, 25, teacher.

Why he was stopped: Naidoo was doing 70 mph on Lake Worth Road at 2 a.m. January 9, 2005, when he swerved into oncoming traffic. Unfortunately for Naidoo, the car he almost struck heading in the opposite direction was a cop car driven by a Broward County deputy on his way home.

What he said: He said he'd had only a couple of Budweisers while fishing with friends in Loxahatchee.

Machine results: Refused the breath test.

Stuart Ross Hubler, 23, student.

Why he was stopped: Hubler was dozing in his car in the right lane of traffic on Military Trail in West Palm Beach. It took five minutes for cops to wake him.

What he said: Claimed to have drunk three beers at his house, but during sobriety tests, he fell over, catching his car to prevent sprawling on the ground.

Machine results: .167 blood-alcohol level.

Thomas Rising, 37, of Palm City.

Why he was stopped: The eight-foot boat he was spending the Fourth of July on in 2004, off Riviera Beach, had no lights, catching the attention of the Marine Patrol.

What he said: Rising told the Marine Patrol officers that he had an "important job" and threatened to never return to Peanut Island for recreation if they arrested him. Asked how much he had to drink, Rising said defiantly, "Not enough." Marine officers subdued him after he belligerently refused to do sobriety tests.

Machine results: .177 blood-alcohol level.

William DeSoto, 62, of West Palm Beach.

Why he was stopped: On November 6, 2004, DeSoto pulled a .45 caliber from his waist band, put it on the counter of Gator Guns in West Palm Beach, and asked for ammo. He left with it, then came back a few minutes later and complained that the bullets didn't work. Gator Guns employees called police, who found DeSoto's Black Lincoln Town Car crashed into a parking lot median.

What he said: Claimed he had three beers to get up the courage to shoot himself. Cops threw him in the drunk tank.

Machine results: .156 blood-alcohol level.

What he says now: Attorney John Cleary says that even without the technicality, DeSoto would've gotten off by claiming temporary insanity. A day after trying to shoot himself, Cleary says, DeSoto downed a gallon of Drano. He survived that too.

Jose Silva, 28, of Wellington, heavy equipment operator.

Why he was stopped: Three out of four of the tires on Silva's Ford pickup were flat when cops pulled him over on Northlake Boulevard in West Palm Beach on the morning of March 20, 2005.

What he said: Silva admitted to drinking five or six beers. There was vomit on the outside of his driver's door.

Machine results: .117 blood-alcohol level.

Kurt Jagers, 27, pro surfer.

Why he was stopped: Jagers was doing 75 mph on Military Trail in Boca Raton when police pulled him over November 2, 2004. Jagers had sprayed himself with cologne, but he still smelled of liquor.

What he said: Jagers said he'd spent the last three hours "chasing ass" at a few bars and had "maybe" a couple of rum and Cokes. When asked how he had drunk them he replied, "By straw."

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Eric Alan Barton
Contact: Eric Alan Barton