Women won't walk alone through the intersection of Chase Street and Trinity Place in West Palm Beach anymore. There have been assaults, merciless attacks... by birds. According to aWPBF report
, nearly a dozen residents have been assaulted by a winged rebel intent on pecking, squawking, following, and other ruthless acts of, you know, being a bird.
Interested in why a bird might develop a vendetta against West Palm women, I called up the local Critter Control branch.
"Was it black?" the woman asked.
"Uh. I don't know," I stammered, trying to remember if the bird's composite sketch had been shaded in or not, and some rhetoric about post-racial America.
Before I could, she replied that a small black bird called the grackle, often confused for a crow, will dive-bomb at humans to protect its young.
I was told a technican would be getting in touch to further hash out the bird's identity and intentions, but in the meantime, enjoy the video above, chockfull of recreated footage that would make To Catch A Predator proud.
Keep New Times Broward-Palm Beach Free... Since we started New Times Broward-Palm Beach, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of South Florida, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering South Florida with no paywalls.