Broward News

Boca Raton's Gold-Dispensing ATM Machine: Five Uses for All That Bling

You'll soon see this in Boca.
Abu Dhabi, Munich, and Madrid were the first places to get ATM machines that dispense gold bars. Next up for the gold ATM is America, and the first two cities to get the machines are Las Vegas and Boca Raton. That's right, the city famous for 4 o'clock dinners is now getting the world's best example of on-the-go bling.

The company installing the machine in Boca hasn't announced the location. But it's time to start preparing for what to do once it arrives. You don't want to just stuff bullion under your bed. Instead, here are some of the most obnoxious luxurious examples of what to do with

all that ATM-spewing gold.

Rothstein traded this throne for a solid concrete version.
5. Golden Thrones
We couldn't start out this list without a little love to our own Ponzi schemer, Scott Rothstein, who had gold toilet lids for him and his wife. Rothstein may have made it higher on this list if he had gone solid gold for this throne, but he apparently decided to flush his money on cars and women instead of where he flushes.

4. The Other Grill
Once you've covered your teeth with gold caps, it's time

This unit puts flames to your egotistical need to show off.
to turn to your backyard. This $12,500 barbecue grill from BeefEater comes covered in 24-karat gold, perfect for truffle-stuffed brats or whatever food makes you sound like a rich bastard.

3. The Mac Book for Label Freaks
Mac buyers make an important decision based on the brand, or more specifically, they put aside issues of price and software availability so they can flash the Mac name at Starbucks. And if you're

Because you care -- about image.
the type to cherish that bitten apple on the back side of your laptop, then you'll surely appreciate spending $29,000 for a gold-plated version. As you say, "Hi, I'm a Mac," those around you can say, "And you just wasted $29,000."

2. Dropped Calls Come for Free
Russian athletes in the 2008 Olympics all got gold-plated phones as part of a promotion from Samsung. The company sold them only in Russia, so you'll have to search for your own copy from the Ruski version of eBay (a man in Red Square with a tattered trench coach). It'd be a bit depressing buying one from a former Olympic athlete, considering the phone is just about the only gold Russia brings home these days from the Olympics.

A fool and his money are soon parted by this car.


1. Gold-Covered Greed, on Wheels
Imagine the frustration of buying yourself a $1 million ride only to see another Bugatti pass by on your way to the polo grounds. So a few Bugatti Veyron owners have cocksuckered up their coaches with gold paint jobs. It's really the only car to drive through the gold ATM.

KEEP NEW TIMES BROWARD-PALM BEACH FREE... Since we started New Times Broward-Palm Beach, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of South Florida, and we'd like to keep it that way. With local media under siege, it's more important than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" program, allowing us to keep offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food and culture with no paywalls.
Eric Barton
Contact: Eric Barton