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Breastaurants Will Be Hitting Up Hallandale and Weston in the Coming Months UPDATED

What's better than a beer, a burger, and some very large boobs? Hallandale Beach and Weston would say, "Nothing. Nothing is what's better than those things." Because, as it turns out, both cities are planning to open new breastaurants in the coming months because titties is awesome! Hallandale Beach will...
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What's better than a beer, a burger, and some very large boobs? Hallandale Beach and Weston would say, "Nothing. Nothing is what's better than those things."

Because, as it turns out, both cities are planning to open new breastaurants in the coming months because titties is awesome!

Hallandale Beach will be opening a joint called the Tilted Kilt Pub & Eatery next month.

That's where you'll find traditional Scottish dishes. Ha. Ha. Just kidding. It's beer and titties.

Meanwhile in Weston, a group of restaurateurs has signed an agreement to open 10 Twin Peaks. We're not sure what that name means. Maybe it's an homage to the old David Lynch television program?

Update: The Twin Peaks PR folks tells New Times that the group that is bringing the restaurant to South Florida is based in Weston, but the restaurant itself won't necessarily be located in Weston.

Mark Hanby, the Tilted Kilt's vice president of development, says their restaurants are more than just scantily clad girls dudes can go and totally creeper while eating some loaded nachos. It's about atmosphere too.

Hanby explains that his restaurant chain pays homage to the old public houses of England, Scotland, Ireland, and America where humorous and slightly bawdy limericks are performed.

We've always thought the one missing element at our local Applebee's was limericks.

Meanwhile, the restaurant has servers called Tilted Kilt Girls, who wear mini-kilts (ahh just like Scotland of old, ye gobshites!!) and short tied-up shirts to accentuate the limericks. 

10 Twin Peaks servers are called Lumber Jills.

The owners of these chains say they don't hire their servers in as much as girls audition, which doesn't sound porno-y AT ALL.

And you too can come out to the Tilted Kilt and audition this weekend from noon to 5 p.m.

"We want to make sure people on our team will fit the role, with the right personality, the right skill-set," Joe Sloboda, a restaurateur behind the upcoming Twin Peaks South Florida franchise, said.

He forgot to mention "and big boobies." 

Oh wait. 

Skill-set. 

Never mind. 

Follow Chris Joseph on Twitter.




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