The Miami Dolphins managed to simultaneously have the biggest sad trombone sound game and glorious comeback game in one fell swoop on Sunday when they outlasted Washington 17-10. Entering the game, the Fins were the talk of the NFL as a strong up-and-coming team that was going to make the proverbial noise in the league. Armed with newer weapons and a supposed stout defensive line, the Dolphins arrived in D.C. to face a Washington team that had been reeling from a quarterback controversy, a racist nickname controversy, and a scorned wife controversy. Washington was supposed to be easy pickings — the kind of team you want to face to start the season because you know they're going to be an NFL piñata, and that easy 1-0 to kick the season off would be its sweet, sweet candy inside.
But the Dolphins nearly
It was an ugly win by all accounts. Washington managed to plow through a defensive line that featured newly acquired Ndamukong Suh playing alongside Cameron Wake and Olivier Vernon for a whopping 161 yards on the ground. And then there was Ryan Tannehill, who overthrew receivers, nearly killed tight end Dion Sims, and started the game going 5-for-9 for 30 yards.
Let's get to the rundown:
- Jarvis Landry has drunk deep of the gamma rays. For all the hype over all the different receiving
If you watch closely, you can see the moment Washington punter Tress Way's soul leaves his body. It was an absolute back-breaking score that reminded Washington that they're Washington while bringing order to the universe, because had the Dolphins lost this game, we would all have to prepare for the oncoming apocalypse.
Bonus: Dolphins bros celebrating at FedEx Field, woo-hoo!
- The Senator's Interception. One of the biggest question marks coming into the season was the Dolphins' secondary. And, rightly so, as Washington QB Kirk Cousins at times looked like Johnny Unitas in his prime against this Miami defense. But Brice McCain, a man who basically won his job by default — i.e., he sucked the least — made the catch of the day when he outmuscled his receiver and plucked a Cousins pass out of the sky with one hand and then managed to stay in bounds with his ass.
That's one athletic ass.
McCain INT https://t.co/yRcl6B7G5n— Eric Elizondo (@EricElizondo8) September 13, 2015
The INT destroyed Washington's chances of taking the game and made McCain a household name across the football-watching nation that got to see the replay of this majestic moment.
- Ryan Tannehill's deep passes continue to look like he's throwing ziplock bags filled with urine at his receivers. Nothing good ever happens when Tannehill goes deep, and lives are almost being taken because of it. Yet the Dolphins insist on having him heave the ball deep
The Patriots have been killing defenses with short pass plays for the better part of a decade and won themselves a Super Bowl doing just that last season (aside from all the cheating, of course). There's no shame in turning the offense into a short-pass-play offense. It's what Tannehill is best at. Why won't they just do that? It feels like we're taking crazy pills!
Great route by Rishard. https://t.co/eYkDo0097Q— Eric Elizondo (@EricElizondo8) September 13, 2015
Ultimately, a win is a win. And with the Patriots, Bills, and Jets all winning their openers, it was vital for the Fins to take this one. We only wish it was more of the beatdown that was expected. The defense was supposed to destroy Cousins and the Washington O, and the Dolphins should have made this a slaughter.
this fumble went like 30 yards before it was recovered https://t.co/hTxNeU3OsH— Mike Tunison (@xmasape) September 13, 2015
Washington is so inept a franchise they can't even spray their field correctly.
Yet it took Landry and McCain coming through with spectacular plays and Washington reverting to its craptacular ways for Miami to pull a win out of their butts. This simply will not do.
Washington has an upside-down 3 on their field: pic.twitter.com/XFDgKhs7BF— SB Nation (@SBNation) September 13, 2015
Miami has yet another "easy" opponent next week when it visits the Jacksonville Jaguars. This is barely a football team. Maybe this time, we can show up and wreck faces from the go?