Come one, come all! We have golf courses aplenty, non-threatening beaches, and orange juice - oh, the orange juice. It flows, we tell you, it flows. Already, 16 percent of the county is 65 or older, Wikipedia tells us, but that middling figure belies the truth. Old people run this county with a iron fist wrought from hours contemplating the Weather Chanel and Fox News.
"Dude, Las Olas last night was tits!"
"That place is sick. Big City Tavern is chill."
"Yeah, bro-haim, I got wasted there on New Years Eve. And check it, while I was scarfing a roast beef combo at Pita Pit, I had my New Year's Eve resolution."
"Fuck. More. Bitches."
"That's how we do it BroCo, Bro!"