Broward News

Broward County Name Change: Eight Options That Are Way Better

Page 4 of 4

The Other Hollywood County
Yes, we know. Tourists, we've heard. In this land, another realm called Hollywood doth exist. And yes, they're all like, "We have models, movies, and drug-addled people who actually are talented!" But then we're all like, "Do you have the Pride of the Seminole Nation at your doorstep?" On the Res 4 life, motherfuckaaaahhhhh.

Burnout County
There are few places in the United States that have such a powerful, metaphysicial pull on the nation's washed-up. They come for beaches, but not hassles. Palm Beach County -- who's got money for that? Miami -- no hablo espanol, Pedro. You know who we're talking about. Long scraggly hair. Too much cocaine/marijuana/opium/smack/bath salts in the past. Prowling the Hollywood Boardwalk, probably selling shit no one in existence needs.

KEEP NEW TIMES BROWARD-PALM BEACH FREE... Since we started New Times Broward-Palm Beach, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of South Florida, and we'd like to keep it that way. With local media under siege, it's more important than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" program, allowing us to keep offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food and culture with no paywalls.
Chris Joseph
Contact: Chris Joseph