Casino Files for Bankruptcy, Promises to Continue Feeding Broke Gamblers

The owners of Gulfstream Park have filed for bankruptcy, causing broke gamblers who have also filed for bankruptcy to wonder where all their lost gambling money went. Gulfstream's owner, Magna Entertainment Corp. of Ontario, promises that it will continue to operate the casino and racetrack in Hallandale Beach as it restructures its debt, which is like that time I ordered a round of drinks for the bar, figuring incorrectly that casino security wouldn't catch me as I ran for the parking garage.

In a press release, Magna promised that it will still pay out to those lucky few who win:

As part of the Chapter 11 filing, the Company has sought emergency relief to ensure the continued payment of employee wages and benefits and horsemen winnings and its ability to honor existing customer programs.

This is important for  members of Gulfstream's Good Luck Players Club, a select few of us who have been given special horeshoe-emblazoned cards that entitle those who lose shitloads of money to an occasional free meal and stuff. This is especially important for the grandmothers out there who spend their Social Security checks at the slots and subsist on Swedish meatballs at the Players Club.

This Swedish meatball giveaway is similar to how Magna says it will handle its bankruptcy. But instead of meatballs, it's going to sell some of its properties for $44 million in cash. That might explain why the meatball sauce has that green tint.

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