This one's embarrassing.
Chris Siegert, quite possibly the most failed social media actor in internet history, has many problems. One of them being he makes model Ghostbuster cars -- WHILE ON VACATION -- that flash: "Ghostbusters." Another one being that he's tried hundreds of times to start conversations on Twitter and has been ignored at every turn. And the last?
Dude's an (alleged) pedophile. On December 20, Siegert, the technical director at WPEC-12 (CBS), was arrested in Boynton Beach after driving to meet an apparent 15-year-old boy he met on the gay hook-up app Grindr. The "boy" turned out to be none other than our trusty Homeland Security investigators.
Whoops! My bad, Siegert said, capitulating not only on his apparent pedophilia but HIS OWN GAYNESS. He told police he was just trying to help this confused boy with "sexuality."
Wanna see confused?
Siegert, who faces a minimum of ten years in prison on federal charges of sexual enticement, posted this soliloquy on his blog, The Cool Side of the Pillow, a few years ago.
"I have the reputation of being hasty, brash, and impulsive. Many of you love and respect me for that reason. There are the others that barely tolerate me and you know who you are. This blog is not an attempt to win you over. But merely an open window into the inner sanctum that is Christopher Michael Siegert."
Let's leave your inner sanctum out of this, Chris.
But while Chris isn't getting all melodramatic and mushy on us, he apparently keeps himself quite busy. Doing things that will never, ever get him laid -- except, of course, by the use of an online site, which he also failed with.
Behold, the opus of Chris Siegert:
Otherwise -- when Chris ISN'T directing WPEC News or trying to (allegedly) sex up little boys or making model Ghostbuster cars -- he's that guy we all hate on social media.
On his Facebook account, he's uploaded dozens upon dozens of pictures of exceedingly boring suburban shit, like images of his WPEC news truck -- and, um, pictures of his fast-food lunch?
Yes, we're filled with mirth and glee whenever another sex offender gets prison time, but in Siegert's case, we're doubly thrilled.
His social online identity -- ugh -- will mercifully take a few years off.
Follow the writer @terrence_mccoy