CityPlace Now a Venue For Protesters; Let's Protest CityPlace

Do you have an issue close to your heart, but don't want to go anywhere scary to protest it? Do you define "scary" as any place without valet parking? Then have we got news for you! For the low, low fee of permanent yuppie status, you too can now protest on the streets and sidewalks of CityPlace!

After kicking out an artist (who had the audacity to set up an easel) and a woman whose t-shirt decried puppy mills, downtown West Palm's glorified outdoor mall announced yesterday that it would relax its protest rules to end a lawsuit from the American Civil Liberties Union. Just don't even try it under storefront awnings, people. Kapish?

As one of New Times's few Palm Beach residents, I started wondering: What would anyone have to protest at CityPlace? A cursory list of ideas, submitted for your approval:

  • The wait at the Cheesecake Factory: Too long.
  • The free samples at Williams-Sonoma: Not enough.
  • Jeans at BCBG and Levi's: Too tight and your mother didn't raise you that way young lady.
  • Tommy Bahamas: MORE TOMMY BAHAMAS (insert voracious senior citizens here)

And somehow, I think CityPlace is the one market where Palm Beach Puppies will be spared.

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