Palm Beach Post gossip columnist Jose Lambiet gives us the most predictable item of the year. She would have been perfect for Charlie, if not for that not-having-a-penis thing.
Glad they indicted Barry Bonds. Everybody knows that people shouldn't lie in court about cheating on baseball. The proper thing is to lie about cheating on baseball when you appear before the House Government Reform Committee.
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Speaking of performance-enhancing drugs, the Pulp welcomes back Ricky Williams. Not that I've giving him a pass on his transgressions. The man cheated the system, since all of us, if afforded the luxury of smoking weed, could easily play in the NFL. It's a superdrug, dammit, a miracle pass to professional sports. Thank god it's illegal.