Broward News

Crist Reaction to New Times Best Pool: I Want to Go to There

One of the best parts of being Florida governor is access to a jet with which to indulge your most sudden, insatiable geographical impulses.

For example, New Times' eagerly anticipated Best Of Broward/Palm Beach issue hit this website on June 11. (Memorize that date -- we'll get back to it.) The Best Pool honors went to H. Wayne Huizenga, and here was our effort to describe its hallowed grounds to our mere mortal readership:

It is said that water in the Huizenga pool is collected drip by drip from the melting glaciers at the polar icecap, in the moment before their purity would be lost to the salty sea. It's then heated within the fuselage of the supersonic jet that conveys it to the Huizenga home. In the Jacuzzi, what looks like water is actually the urine of unicorns, capable of healing cavities, cold sores, and hemorrhoids. While one lies on a chaise longue, Bond-girl hot virgins conjure a breeze by waving palm fronds.
Now can you guess where old Charlie jetted off to on that same day, June 11? As the Tampa Tribune now informs us, he made a beeline for one very specific South Florida domicile: "the Fort Lauderdale home of billionaire Wayne Huizenga."

Coincidence? Doubt it.

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Thomas Francis