Dozens of Broward Sheriff's Office deputies descended on Cypress Bay High School on Friday to quell an on-campus disturbance involving hundreds of students.
Thanks to the quick-thinking hand of justice that is the BSO, the disturbance was quickly and efficiently silenced, and the suspect, a 17-year-old male whose name is being withheld at this time, was taken in and is facing felony charges.
His vicious, terror-inducing crime? He allegedly started a food fight.
"The disturbance started as a food fight," sheriff's spokeswoman Veda Coleman-Wright said. "It was really large, probably hundreds of spectators."
The insurgence of food and beverages was called in to police, who showed up soon afterward and rushed into the fray like the riot police from Conquest of the Planet of the Apes.
According to one report, school administrators witnessed a 12th-grade student hurl a Molotov cocktail made purely of water inside a bottle into the crowd.
Brave hero assistant principal Jeff Nelson bravely threw himself into the fracas and tried to stop the 17-year-old rebel leader. But the student pulled his arm away, pushed Nelson, and allegedly hit him. But in the frenzy of flying mashed potatoes and Zephyrhills bottles, it was impossible to tell for sure.
Two BSO deputies eventually elbowed and crashed their way into the crowd toward the 17-year-old, without thought of their own safety or fear of being stuck by a Sloppy Joe or a gob of Jell-O.
One of the deputies even cut his knee trying to take down the student!
The cops eventually got to the teenager and slapped the cuffs on him.
According to at least one student, BSO dispatched "like 15 cars/cops to diffuse the situation."
Some say the food war was instigated by Cypress Bay rival school, Western High in Davie, which would be a tremendous strategic coup on their part. Though at this point, that's just speculation.
Since Friday, school officials have been reviewing some of the pictures and video of the battle to determine whether more students would be disciplined for their roles in the food fight massacre.
The 17-year-old who tried to rise up and lead his fellow students through guerrilla warfare with a sandwich and maybe a spork is facing felony charges of striking a school employee and resisting arrest without violence.