Defense and a Suicidal Pigeon Help Dolphins Take Down Jaguars

The Miami Dolphins did something rare on Sunday. They won a second-consecutive game. That's two wins in a row! It was as if we had almost forgotten you can do that. But the Dolphins did and now stand at 4-3 on the season and well on their way to winning the AFC East JUST AS WE PREDICTED.

A dominant defensive performance featuring pick-sixes and sacks and a rogue pigeon roaming the field helped the Dolphins to the 27-13 win over the Jags.

That's right. Victory Monday is brought to you by Louis Delmas doing damage, and a bird.

The Rundown:

Louis Delmas had himself the DEEZ NUTZ game

Delmas threw a monkey wrench into the Jaguars' plans of pulling off the upset by intercepting Blake Bortles early in the second quarter and returning it 88 yards for the first touchdown of the game. Up until that point, the Dolphins were playing like a bowl of kung pao ass, allowing the Jaguars several opportunities to take control of the game. But the Jaguars Jaguar'd themselves into not being able to take advantage of Miami's lackluster play and let their rookie quarterback single-handedly lose the game.

Delmas also recovered a fumble in this game, solidifying his Week 8 DEEZ NUTZ status.

Holy crapsicles, is Ryan Tannehill tough to figure out

Tannehill can look brilliant one moment and a total buffoon the next. Tannehill's first half was a sludgefest of sloppy football. The offensive line didn't do him any favors, but still, there were some throws that just didn't make much sense. The good news is he threw for 196 yards and a touchdown and made a nice deep-ball connection with Mike Wallace (finally!). He also completed passes to nine different receivers, which says more about Miami's receivers than it does about Tannehill. The bad news is the offense looked flaccid and off-kilter to start things off. And Tannehill himself missed some fairly easy passes. He still has moments when he seems to short-circuit or panic in his head. But then there are times he'll take off and gain a bunch of yards with his legs. But then he'll throw an interception or miss an open receiver.

Ryan Tannehill is like when you're trying to watch an exciting movie preview on YouTube, but the 15-second ad has been buffering for a full minute. That was a totally long way of saying Ryan Tannehill is maddeningly inconsistent, still.

Brent Grimes had himself a pick-6 as well. Which means his wife's Instagram should probably be avoided for at least a week.

Or, forever.

A pigeon refused to leave the field even though giant people came very close to trampling it to death

While the two teams played, a pigeon flew onto the field and began pecking at the grass. Whenever a player came too close, it would either move over or not move at all. The pigeon had not a fuck to give that there was a football game being played.

Enjoy Victory Monday, Dolphins fans!

Send your story tips to the author, Chris Joseph. Follow Chris Joseph on Twitter

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