Holy shit. The Dolphins won.
Oh yes. They so did.
The Miami Dolphins were able to go into Sunday's game against the Raiders and not do that thing where they play like a sack of ass, and were able to dismantle Oakland 35 -13, giving the Fins their first home opener victory since 2005.
The win also made both Joe Philbin and Stephen Ross dance. And it was all due mostly to the ball obliterating performance from Reggie Bush, aka LAMONTELLE PUSSYHAMMER.