Eight Reasons San Antonio Is the Worst Place Ever

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8. It's in Texas. Yup. Lone Star staters like to act as if Texan roots automatically grant you preferred seating in heaven, but let's be honest: Texas is like the shitty neighborhood every town seems to have out by the landfill, only if you scooped up all the people there, landed them in oil country, and genetically modified them to have an outsized sense of entitlement and self-worth.

7. Sure, the Alamo is cool to look at, but it's racist. Since Santa Ana's armies overran the patch of turf in 1836, "Remember the Alamo" has become some sort war-whoop-cum-branding-scheme-cum-drunk-frat-boy-chant. But really, the whole story, or how we seem to always portray it, just reaffirms a nasty white-man-versus-brown-man thing. See: the 136 Sociology degree thesis papers on file at the Wesleyan College library.

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Kyle Swenson
Contact: Kyle Swenson