^
Keep New Times Free
4
| Lists |

Eleven Things More Exciting Than Tim Duncan

Did you know that Game 1 of the NBA Finals between the Miami Heat and the San Antonio Spurs kicks off tonight?

True story!

And while we're all living in the midst of one the most dynamic, exciting basketball players in the history of the game with LeBron James, the majority of Basketball America is rooting for Tim Duncan and the Spurs.

Why? Because Basketball America hates fun.

Also, because Basketball America is stupid.

Mostly, though, because they're stupid.

Case in point: Basketball America is so blinded by the fury of their hatred towards a guy with the ability to fly through the air over other tall humans and dunk a basketball, that they've decided to root for the most boring pro athlete in the history of pro sports.

How boring is Tim Duncan? Here are 11 things more exciting than Tim Duncan:

A Foot

A Rake

A Chicken

A Fire Hydrant

This Dude

This Dog's Balls On A Phone

The Time To Make The Donuts Guy

David Robins.... THAT LADY.

Pants

Wisconsin

Waiting In Line At Walmart

Let's go Heat!

Game 1 is tonight on ABC. Tipoff is at 9:00 p.m.

Follow Chris Joseph on Twitter



I Support
  • Local
  • Community
  • Journalism
  • logo

Support the independent voice of South Florida and help keep the future of New Times free.

Keep New Times Broward-Palm Beach Free... Since we started New Times Broward-Palm Beach, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of South Florida, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering South Florida with no paywalls.

We use cookies to collect and analyze information on site performance and usage, and to enhance and customize content and advertisements. By clicking 'X' or continuing to use the site, you agree to allow cookies to be placed. To find out more, visit our cookies policy and our privacy policy.

 

Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in South Florida.

 

Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in South Florida.