Did you know that Game 1 of the NBA Finals between the Miami Heat and the San Antonio Spurs kicks off tonight?

True story!

And while we're all living in the midst of one the most dynamic, exciting basketball players in the history of the game with LeBron James, the majority of Basketball America is rooting for Tim Duncan and the Spurs.

Why? Because Basketball America hates fun.

Also, because Basketball America is stupid.

Mostly, though, because they're stupid.

Case in point: Basketball America is so blinded by the fury of their hatred towards a guy with the ability to fly through the air over other tall humans and dunk a basketball, that they've decided to root for the most boring pro athlete in the history of pro sports.

How boring is Tim Duncan? Here are 11 things more exciting than Tim Duncan:

A Foot

A Rake

A Chicken

A Fire Hydrant

This Dude

This Dog's Balls On A Phone

The Time To Make The Donuts Guy

David Robins.... THAT LADY.

Pants

Wisconsin

Waiting In Line At Walmart

Let's go Heat!

Game 1 is tonight on ABC. Tipoff is at 9:00 p.m.

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