Lists

Facebook Adds "Civil Union" to Status Choices -- Here Are Ten More Options for Consideration

Facebook now includes "Civil Union" and "Domestic Partnership" among its relationship status options. Since the genesis of the online "Relationship Status" in the early 2000s, the few and definite choices have fallen short of defining the ever-complex myriad of situations that could constitute a "relationship."

Yes, "It's complicated" has been a reliable catchall for any point on the scale ranging from hookup to marriage, but in this age of oversharing, "complicated" grossly shortchanges how much information can be conveyed in a succinct status.

Suggestions after the jump.

Some people argue that "Civil Union" and "Domestic Partnership" fall under the existing umbrella term "In a Relationship," while many say that the terms' inclusion signifies a shift in our collective consciousness to embrace all types of relationships. Others say it's a nonproductive acknowledgment that same-sex couples cannot be married in most states, including Florida.

Among all of these arguments, one thing rings true: Certain people expressed a desire to more specifically define their relationships on Facebook, and the powers that be granted that wish.

Whether it was a moral decision or a decision to direct more highly targeted advertising, the "status" can of worms is now wide open, begging the question: What other relationships lend themselves to definitions independent of "It's complicated"?

Here are the top ten that come to mind. Feel free to comment your own additions.

10. Has an Oedipus Complex

9. Loves But Is Not in Love With...

8. Having an Affair

7. In a Bromance

6. Hooking Up
 
5. Is Mercilessly Leading On...

4. Cuddles but Won't Touch...

3. Isn't Over It/Is Creepily Facebook Stalking...

2. Plays Too Many Videogames but Isn't a Playa

1. Has an Acute Social Media Fetish


Follow The Juice on Twitter: @TheJuiceBPB.

KEEP NEW TIMES BROWARD-PALM BEACH FREE... Since we started New Times Broward-Palm Beach, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of South Florida, and we'd like to keep it that way. With local media under siege, it's more important than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" program, allowing us to keep offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food and culture with no paywalls.
Leslie Minora