Facebook Is Going Out of Business, According to Overly Optimistic Pembroke Pines Woman

A Pembroke Pines woman says she's going to "destroy Facebook's lead in the social networking universe" with her new social networking website that costs $45 a year.

Good luck.

Evelyn Castillo-Bach says her website, UmeNow, is everything Facebook isn't -- as far as advertising and privacy are concerned.

"Our service is all about privacy," the website says. "Facebook is a professional data collector. Google is the mothership of all data collectors. It has nothing on us. They're not even in our league. Let's not forget, Google chief Eric Schmidt told the world straight up that Google+ is not even a social network. It's an 'identity verification' service. Anyone still think these giants really care about privacy?"

Apparently that's why Castillo-Bach claims her website is the Facebook killer, saying, "I'm sending Mark Zuckerberg to his room and grounding Facebook for life!"

The website claims there are no ads, no tracking of its users, no selling of personal information, no third-party applications are allowed, and users may post anonymously, all for $6 a month.

On the other hand, there are 750 million people who use Facebook for free, so UmeNow has a bit to catch up on before Facebook gets "grounded."

And of course, here's that advertisement everyone we're sure someone is talking about:

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