Think of all the things a Swiss Army knife can do -- open a tin can or bottle of wine, file your nails, or even stab a former fraternity pledge, like the cops say 28-year-old Janseel Singh did yesterday.
Police say Singh -- one of the "founding fathers" of Florida Atlantic University's chapter of the Beta Chi Theta fraternity -- was hanging out with his frat boys at Hookah Hut in Boca Raton before going to smoke some weed in the parking lot with two of the guys after the place closed.
As they said their high goodbyes around 2 a.m., police say Singh decided to pull out a Swiss Army knife and stab a 20-year-old former pledge in the gut.
The man told police he thought Singh was kidding and wasn't even aware he'd been stabbed until he noticed his bloody shirt.
While the stab victim was treated at a Boca Raton hospital for a two-inch stab wound, Singh resorted to text-message-threatening him, the cops say, which is just about as badass as stabbing someone with a Swiss Army knife.
"The beef is on... U better pick ur side... or risk getting hit up," police say Singh sent to the man via text message. (For those not hip to badass jargon, "hit up" apparently means attacked, according to the cops.)
Back at the police station, the other man in the car told the cops that Singh probably stabbed him over a bag of weed that went missing, which Singh presumed he had stolen.
Also, he told police he thought Singh could have been upset about the stab victim dropping out of the fraternity, which doesn't really sound any better than stabbing someone with a Swiss Army knife over a bag of weed.
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The cops say Singh turned himself in to police yesterday afternoon and now faces a charge of aggravated battery with a deadly weapon.