The Florida Atlantic University Owls are now the worst team in college football, as FAU remains the only team without a win in the NCAA Football Bowl Subdivision.
The New Mexico Lobos were consistently rated as worse than FAU, but after a 21-14 win over UNLV on Saturday, FAU takes over the top spot in ESPN's "Bottom 10."
FAU tacked on another loss last weekend, with a 41-7 trouncing courtesy of FIU.
The only time the Owls have actually come within a score of winning a game was back in week four, when they lost by three to the Louisiana-Lafayette Ragin' Cajuns.
But let's say something nice.
The next two games for FAU are extremely winnable -- this weekend, the Owls head to Troy, Alabama, to play the Troy Trojans, who've won only two games this year, against the University of Alabama at Birmingham and Middle Tennessee.
If they can't pull that one off, the Owls get University of Alabama at Birmingham at home on November 26. They've also won two games, against slightly better opponents than Troy -- UCF and Memphis.
Remember, just over half our readers -- in our highly unscientific poll -- thought that FAU would not only win a game but win a game before the Miami Dolphins did. The Dolphins have now won two.
Let's get to that Sixteen Candles reference we mentioned.
ESPN columnist Mark Schlabach, who runs the "Bottom 10" list for the sports outlet, likes to make some strange pop-culture references for the crappiest teams in college football.
Last week, it was likening FAU to Charlie Sheen, saying, "Like the former star of the TV hit 'Two and a Half Men,' the Owls haven't been winning much of anything lately, either."
This week, he compared the "Bottom 10" to John Hughes movies, and here's his comment on FAU -- sitting at the bottom of the "Bottom 10":
"Sixteen Candles": Owls coach Howard Schnellenberger will celebrate his next birthday with 78 candles. Hopefully for him, he'll get to celebrate another victory before he retires at season's end.
Maybe we should go to another Howard for wins -- Broward Public Defender Howard "Help Me Howard" Finkelstein.
Or put this writer in -- it really couldn't hurt. In fact, as the same height and weight as FAU's largest wide receiver, Schnellenberger ought to consider this one. Call me up, coach.
Keep New Times Broward-Palm Beach Free... Since we started New Times Broward-Palm Beach, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of South Florida, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering South Florida with no paywalls.