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It might be the understatement of the decade to say Florida Atlantic University has had a rough six months. By the time you're done reading this post, an FAU faculty member will probably be accused of murdering puppies or colluding with North Korea.
See also:
- FAU "Jesus Stomp" Instructor Deandre Poole Placed on Leave for "Personal Safety"
- Students Claim FAU President Saunders Hit Student Protester With Car
- FAU Is a $6 Million Whore
But the real takeaway from this Russian-novel-length media shitstorm is how little anyone knows about the school. For a university that's been been kicking around since 1961, FAU has some big names in its alumni pool -- just not exactly the heads of state or Nobel laureates.
Christopher Carrabba, lead singer, Dashboard Confessional
All that hair that was everywhere? Yup, probably happened at FAU. Back when emo was a tear-stained pop-music juggernaut, teens were more than willing to toss money at Carrabba's brand of pretty-boy-cry-babying. But in the late '90s, the well-coifed Connecticut native studied education at FAU.
Yolanda Griffith, WNBA Star
So, FAU isn't exactly known for its athletics, but that doesn't mean it doesn't have some pros on the list. And its highest-profile sport-world alum is... a WNBA star. To be fair, Griffith was a badass during her ten years in the league, with eight All Star appearances and a reputation as one of the best defensive players in the game. The Lake Worth native was originally supposed to play DI, but the birth of her daughter kept her closer to home.
Mary Carey, porn star, celebrity rehabutante
The mainstream knows Carey as a sad case on Dr. Drew's Celebrity Rehab or from her gag-run on the California governor's office. Porn-mongers know her from the 80-plus films she made while in the biz. It looks like FAU can claim those... err... acting chops. Back in the early 2000s, then-Mary Cook was a theater student at the school.
Carrot Top, comedian, the worst
Uh... Jesus... Gimme James Tracy on media conspiracies any day instead.
Lycia Naff, actress, Total Recall's three-boobed space hooker
Naff might not be a household name, but her image is pretty much burned into every nerd-brain the world over for her brief but memorable roll in the original Total Recall. Naff studied journalism at FAU and after hanging up her acting hat has written for newspapers around South Florida. She seems pretty cool about her three-part infamy.
Follow Kyle on Twitter @kyletalking. For tips, send an e-mail.
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