Five Nicknames That Reflect the Miami Dolphins' Speedy New Offense

With the Miami Dolphins' shocking acquisition of Tyreek Hill last week, the team is now super fast and totally deserving of a new nickname.
With the Miami Dolphins' shocking acquisition of Tyreek Hill last week, the team is now super fast and totally deserving of a new nickname. Photo by Mark Brown/Getty Images
Following the blockbuster acquisition of Kansas City Chiefs All-Pro wide receiver Tyreek Hill last week, the Miami Dolphins may now be the fastest football team on Earth, and possibly of all time. They've acquired much of that velocity during this offseason with the additions of not just Hill, but Raheem Mostert, Chase Edmonds, and Cedrick Wilson, Jr.

When you add all of those new guys with Jaylen Waddle, Mike Gesicki, Lynn Bowden, and other returning Dolphins, it makes for one very speedy group. As with anything this historic, the Dolphins need a new nickname to reflect their new and improved offense.

Here, we examine five new nickname suggestions.

Fast & Furious

We've seen this one, so we're required to report it. It's not unlike a real estate agent being required to let a homeowner know of an offer. It's just a rule.

But we hate it: It's outdated, it's obvious, it's not original or clever — all of the requirements of a catchy new nickname. So Fast & Furious will not be moving on to the next round.

Top Off

When a wide receiver gets behind a defense, it's called "blowing the top off." What comes to mind when you imagine something known for taking its top off? Yes, our first thought was convertible cars, too. We're just adding things up here and it all checks out.

Do we love this nickname? No. But it has been put forward, and we are duly including it on the list.

The Greatest Show on Surf

The dominating offense of the St. Louis Rams between 1999 and 2001 was called "The Greatest Show on Turf." Well, it's time to welcome the Miami Dolphins' version of that phrase: "The Greatest Show on Surf."

Even if Miami isn't exactly known for its surfing, to the rest of the landlocked country oceans are oceans and surfing is what you do in them. It's catchy, Miami as hell, and sums things up quite nicely. This one is up there on the list.

Legion of Zoom

Years ago the Seattle Seahawks boasted a hard-hitting defense that was called the "Legion of Boom." Now, with the sudden surge of speed on its offense, some Dolphins fans have already suggested replacing "Boom" with "Zoom."

It's clever and makes a whole lot of sense. Leader in the clubhouse? Maybe. We like it.

Zoom Miami

Penguins, cheetahs, and iguanas, oh my! With well-known Zoo Miami on the opposite end of the county, what about "Zoom Miami" as a fitting nickname for the fastest team to ever take a football field?

We're here for it. If the Dolphins can get Zoo Miami communications director Ron Magill to put a cheetah in the end zone, we're going full Ace Ventura: Pet Detective on their asses.
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Ryan Yousefi is a freelance writer for Miami New Times, a lover of sports, and an expert consumer of craft beer and pho. Hanley Ramirez once stole a baseball from him and to this day still owes him $10.
Contact: Ryan Yousefi