Broward News

Five Possible Career Options for Charlie Crist

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Fourth-Grade Class Vice President, Bayview Elementary School. Word on the blacktop is that Jimmy O'Bannon's hold on the fourth-grade class presidency has been shaken by a recent third-period juice-box scandal. If Crist joins Amanda Rosenbluth's ticket as her running mate, he may finally have a shot at getting back into an executive position. Then again, he's bringing a lot of baggage to the race, and the fourth-grade races are notoriously negative.

Cialis Spokesman. Don't get the wrong idea. We're not claiming Charlie has any problems down south. But the 58-year-old Crist is such a picture-postcard of dad health -- that oven-baked tan; the dignified, snowfall sweep of hair; that slim, athletic build -- that he'd fit right in with those guys beaming from ads and commercials for ED medication. If Bob Dole's raisined ass can hawk the stuff, Crist is good for it.

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Kyle Swenson
Contact: Kyle Swenson