Sports

Five Types of Person Miami Dolphins Head Coach Mike McDaniel Looks Like

Mike McDaniel looks like a lot of things, including a Starbucks barista.
Mike McDaniel looks like a lot of things, including a Starbucks barista. Screenshot via @CamToEdelman/Twitter
Mike McDaniel, the new Miami Dolphins head coach, is a polarizing figure. His eccentric personality is something you just don't see from most coaches in the NFL these days, much less a head coach. But it's not just his demeanor and outgoing personality that makes him unique, it's the fact that he looks just as much like a blogger that covers the Dolphins, as he does someone who could be the head coach of an NFL team.

In fact, McDaniel looks like a lot of things and a lot of people. Here are some of the favorite comparisons we found around the web.

Starbucks Barista

Mike McDaniel totally looks his he has your order of a "venti Americano with four pumps of vanilla and light soy" memorized. He just sees your name printed on the mobile order ticket and says "say less, fam."


McDaniel looks like he just works at Starbucks to fund his band's studio time. And he looks like he's thinking about poetry at all times.

Spencer's Employee

Mike McDaniel looks like he worked at Spencer's by choice. Young Mike McDaniel looks like he got a job at the mall for the sole purpose of picking up girls and rarely did any work at all.

We're not accusing McDaniel of a crime, but we can envision a world where someone who looks like him has a side operation selling weed secretly stuffed in whoopie cushions.

The Superhero or Villian

The origin story of every superhero starts with a guy who looks like Mike McDaniel: He's either the nice guy in the office who secretly fights crime on the side, or he's the jaded computer scientist who has been planning a sophisticated operation to take down Gotham for years.


Either way, McDaniel has the face of a man who lives a secret life. He is up to something. We're just unsure if that something is good or bad.

Jackass Cast Member

Early 2000s Mike McDaniel looks like he was best friends with Steve-O from Jackass, and they absolutely bumped Eminem and Rage Against the Machine at house parties. McDaniel could totally be an ex-skater boy who appeared in an Avril Lavigne video we all forgot about. He looks like he told people on the basketball court that he was the Denver Broncos ball boy, because he balls, boy.

We all knew a 2000s Mike McDaniel. We just don't know the one who is the coach of the Miami Dolphins now.


Car Dealership General Manager

Mike McDaniel gives off serious car dealership vibes. He makes you like him to the point that you're worried that you're a sucker, and the entire time he was playing you to like him. He looks the part of a man who has mastered the art of the deal and will swindle you on the interest rates, or make you believe you got "free" leather seats.


McDaniel is a man of many faces and a bonafide wordsmith. Let's just hope that come September he looks like a head coach of a winning team in the NFL. 
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Ryan Yousefi is a freelance writer for Miami New Times, a lover of sports, and an expert consumer of craft beer and pho. Hanley Ramirez once stole a baseball from him and to this day still owes him $10.
Contact: Ryan Yousefi